By Dame Toni
Party Guest: I finally had an orgasm, and my doctor said it was the wrong kind.
Isaac Davis: The wrong kind? I’ve never had the wrong kind, ever. My worst one was right on the money.
-From Woody Allen’s Manhattan
Confession: I have a split personality.
When my alter ego, Virginia, comes out to play, things can get interesting. She’s messy. She’s sexy. She doesn’t have a lot of boundaries.
And she writes naughty books.
Seriously, a few of you may know that, in addition to the Mercy Hollings novels, I have also published a number of titles under the name Virginia Reede. Not all of them are erotic—the title that has the most suggestive name, Men in Chains, is actually a fantasy romance that has only a smidgen of explicit sex. Two smidgens, max.
Men in Chains - Only Slightly Naughty
I haven’t written a Virginia Reede book in almost three years, but I sat down and looked at the payments I will receive between now and the end of next year for my Toni Andrews titles, and realized that I had a few serious cash flow gaps. Ellora’s Cave, the imprint that has released three of my five VR titles, has a short production line (read: fast payments), and I’d recently received an email from my editor asking if Virginia was planning to write anything new, and letting me know they’d be happy to have anything she produced.
So, in the interest of having no interruption in heating oil or cat food, I am once again writing erotica.
The erotica market has changed. My first “Romantica” title (A term EC coined for Erotic books that contain all of the elements of Romance), Witch’s Knight, won over ten writing awards, and not all in the erotic category—it also won prizes for historical, paranormal, and fantasy romances. And yet, if I were to submit it today, I would be told it is not erotica enough. The sex-scene-per-page-count standards for a book
Something for Everyone: Historical, Paranormal AND Erotic!
to be classified as erotic has gone up significantly. For a book to make it into print with imprints like Avon Red (Dame Jackie and I have both been included in their holiday anthologies), Aphrodisia, Spice, and, of course, Ellora’s Cave, it’s no longer enough to write a great romance, and then insert hot sex where appropriate. Now, the plot needs to be sexually driven.
In other words, they gotta do it. A lot.
There’s an old joke that says, when it comes to sex, women need a reason. Men just need a place.
After you get done chuckling, read that statement again. It contains the heart of the difference between pornography and erotic romance.
One of my male Book Rx clients sent me a scene that he described as an erotic scene. In it, two characters went from foreplay to “happy ending,” with several positions and most orifices considered.
And it was less than a page long.
After reading it, I told him that I had a problem. I couldn’t tell if the sex had been “good” for the characters. He responded that of course it had, and referenced the aforementioned happy ending.
*Sigh.*
VERY Sexy Holiday Anthology -- my title is "Snow Blind."
Because Romantica is aimed at women, all of those explicit, juicy (pun intended) sex scenes have to include a lot of details about what the characters are feeling¸ both physically and emotionally, during the sex. Women readers want the reason. They don’t assume, just because peg A is inserted into slot B (and, often, C and D) that it is a good thing. And, in addition to emotions, they want details ranging from the texture of the sheets to the sound of the wind to the smell of the…
You get the picture.
This can present some writing challenges. One, I am single and have not dated anyone seriously for several years. So, in order to describe a lot of the sensations and reactions that my characters experience, I have to rely on imagination and memory. Lo-o-o-o-o-ong memory.
Two, although I don’t find it that difficult to come up with plot situations that give my characters the opportunity and will to have sex, I need to make sure that each sex scene feels unique—that they are not just doing the same thing, the same way, over and over.
Now, even though my internal Kama Sutra may be dusty, it still has all of its pages. I can produce plenty of positions, variations, tempos, locations, durations, etc., etc., etc.
But I really only know of two kinds of orgasms: Good ones, and REALLY good ones.
E-Book Only -- Still my all time favorite cover!
So, when each of these various scenes reach their (literal) climaxes, I must come up with a new way of describing the moment. One that not only have I not used fourteen pages earlier, or in a previous Virginia Reede book, but one that they did not see in the last erotica novel they read by some other author.
Sometimes, I resort to metaphor. A surprising number of these are related to disasters, both natural (volcanic eruptions, cyclones, etc.) and man made (fires, crashes). Some are elemental, especially water-based (waves and fountains) and some more reminiscent of space exploration (rockets and stars come to mind).
Ah, well. I’m creative. I’m sure I’ll work it out, as usual.
There is a third drawback to writing erotica, at least as a single woman. When I meet a man, and he finds out that I am a writer, he eventually wants to know what I have written. And, as soon as he finds out I have written some erotic books, he hears not another word I ever say. I have become the dirty book writer. Seriously, I could produce a Pulitzer Prize winning, great American novel, full of serious themes and social commentary, the object of book groups and literature curricula, but for any man who learns that I have published work that uses both C-words, I shall forever be Virginia Reede, professional slut.
And if one more guy offers to help me with my research, I’m gonna have to hurt him.
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Hi Toni
Thank you for sharing a great post.
I hadn’t thought of the difference in perspectives on sex scenes between men & women and it is so accurate. Thanks for the insight on writing the sex scene. I, too, have to rely on memory when writing them (it’s been a few years for me too). I didn’t know you wrote as Virginia Reede too and I’ll be sure to collect those works too. The BEASTMISTRESS cover is beautiful and I’m sure the writing is as terrific as all your books.
Do you get lonely when writing romance?
All the best,
RKCharron
xoxo
LOL!
Great post – I’m going to bring this to the attention of a few friends
Hi Toni! I’m writing from phone and having a few difficulties. Please forgive any errors. I like this commentary. It is extraordinay the differences in men and women. My husband liked that I wrote an erotica, but we were almost ten years into our marriage before I sat down and wrote one all the way through. I’m sorry people can’t always look at the whole of you and get stuck on a very minor aspect (erotica). It’s sad that they can’t see the important part (writer, good imagination, creative) that is the real meaning. Thank you for all the insights and help you give us new and aspiring authors
My personal gauge of how long since I’ve done field research on this topic–how long did it take me to figure out which are the two C words…
Love your crash metaphors, Toni! Being the mother of two young kids, mine are always a little less of a turn on… “He pressed against her like peanut butter to jelly…”
I really did LOL. But how frustrating to find success (and money) in something so misunderstood. Grrr …
Fabulous post, Toni. As usual. Yeah, I hear you about being “the dirty book writer.” That’s what I get for writing about demons of Lust. (Because really, if they’d been demons of Gluttony, it would be all about the food.)
I’d call my research in that department…. quite negligible–unless you count book research. Though it seems to me it would nice to have a realistic let down every once in a while. I do understand why that pretty much never happens in the world of books…. and that’s just one more reason i want to move there
and by book research i mean medical reference text and adult fiction picture-less books
As a guy, I must say I don’t think there is anything wrong with women who write erotica. Guys who write off a female erotica writer are either misogynists or cling to the idea that promiscuous guys are celebrated and promiscuous women are to be pitied, a notion that is antiquated and steeped in religious, puritanical discrimination.
If you ask me, men who put down or ignore female erotica writers are basically afraid of a woman’s sexuality. These guys should be the ones pitied.
Re: Dame Jackie
Lust means wanting something you cannot and/or should not have. Thus, it’s technically only a sin/demon if that lust goes unsatisfied.
Well you know the old joke about the village elder arriving at the pearly gates and being turned away, right?
“It’s not fair,” he cries. “I worked hard all my life, I loved my wife. I raised six successful, happy children. As Mayor, I initiated our village’s economic recovery. I donated 20% of my income to charity all my life, and I fed the poor in my spare time. But you shag one f***ing sheep…”
She didn’t expect it. But the post grabbed her from her first look. It wasn’t long before they were tangled together, all naked limbs and laughter as they rolled over her desk.
Heeheeheeheeheehee okay I’m giggling too hard to keep going but I LOVE THIS POST. IN A VERY DIRTY WAY.
Great post, Dame Toni, and as I’m making my first tentattive steps into the field I found your metaphors hilarious (and I may use one or two;) as I’ve found myself in similar situations.
I look forward to reading your story in the anthology. Good luck with the writing and the research…
Hey Toni!
I didn’t know you were a fellow cave woman! How exciting!
I don’t mind being know as an erotic romance writer. I’m told at my husband’s office, I’m considered the coolest wife ever. And if I never write Pulitzer prize winning novels, that’s okay. I write to entertain. My readers tell me I’m succeeding.
It occurred to me last night (yes, JUST last night) that I’m an entertainer. Not only do I produce entertainment, but often, I AM the entertainment. People are fascinated by authors and how they write what they write. Knowing you write sexy (not dirty) books adds another layer of interest to your persona. As you know, writing good, believable and romantic sex isn’t easy to do and that may be why people are impressed.
I like to joke around with my readers and I inject as much comedy in my work as my plots can hold, but when it comes to sex, that’s not the place for jokes and slapstick.
Romantica is a term I love and I wish it would be added to the dictionary. Sex written for women, with romance, is much more difficult than simple erotica. Women demand more. And writers who understand that, and can deliver, should be very, very proud of what they do.
Write on, Toni!
Ash
My, my, it is a small world. Tony, you sly dog! ~grin~ Welcome back to the cave. It’s toasty warm here. Are you coming to RomantiCon?
Simply a Great post!
Kristan, I’ve read several of your books and somehow missed peanut butter sex. Must watch more carefully in the future.
Tracy, no Romanticon this year, but by the 2010 date I should have new EC titles. So, maybe. Also considering RT for 2010.
A one page sex scene with multiple positions and orifice explorations? I could probably write a synopsis of a sex scene that involved all of that in one page. Did he use bullet points or something? That just sounds horribly boring or it was just one of those sex-scenes-in-passing that don’t really mean much to the story. Sex scenes are meant to be waded around in, swam through, savored like a five course meal. Quickies are fine and all, they have their place in life, but as a writer, I really like writing sex scenes, though I’ve not really written many of them. Not that they should be purposefully drawn out, but come on! If the sex is a major element, then make it major. So much material to explore when it comes to sex. Every flipping emotion in the book can be played out there. They can be fantastic vehicles for developing character, not to mention making the reader drool, which you know…is a good thing.
Don’t you just love that raised brow and look of awareness when you meet someone new and then go on to tell them what you write.
Incorporating erotica into a story simply allows a writer to develop characters from a different perspective when the focus is on the sex. We get to explore more of their darker sides. I find this can be fun, challenging especially considering my own more or less mundane life.
Loss of and the inability to reestablish emotional intimacy, not knowing how to and or never having been cherished, the defeminization of women and the eunuchization of men have brought us to this lonely island that even erotica cannot transcend.