By Dame Jackie
Happy anniversary to us!
Happy anniversary to us!
Happy anniversary, dear us!
Happy anniversary to us!
As the fabulous Dame Devon said in her post yesterday, the Deadline Dames are celebrating our one-year anniversary by having a boatload of giveaways, starting yesterday, all through Friday, January 29, 2010. All nine Dames are giving things away to you, our wonderful readers.
As Devon said, each Dame will post on her day and offer various goodies. For a chance to win, all you have to do is leave a comment in that Dame’s post. All winners will be announced that Sunday (either January 24th, for the first week’s prizes, or January 31st, for the second week’s prizes).
What am I offering? A few things.
1. A private critique (via email) on a query letter.
2. Any two of my books from my backlist (signed).
3. A copy of Batman: RIP.
And now, for something different: a deleted scene from THE ROAD TO HELL! If you’ve read the book, this scene (and the chapter it comes from) takes place before Paul meets Lillith.
Now, in this never-to-see-the-light-of-day draft, former succubus Jesse Harris decides to return to Hell to help her best friend, the Fury Megaera, who is in a heap of trouble. But in order to do that, she gets some help. First, she recruits the angel called Angel. Then the two of them go to a magic store to get some additional help from Wiccans. Why not simply ask her pseudo-sister, the witch Caitlin Harris? Pride. Jesse’s very pissed off at her for lying about a number of things.
In other words… A former demon and a banished angel walk into a magic shop. Hilarity ensues.
And now…here’s the scene. Enjoy! And remember to leave a comment to be entered into the giveaway. Feel free to comment about the scene, or what book you’re currently reading, or what you’re doing to pass the time before GLEE returns in April.
###
Deleted scene from THE ROAD TO HELL
As far as magic stores went, Hocus Pocus wasn’t bad. (This is a compliment in New York Speak.) The entire shop was well lit, using its surprisingly large size to its advantage — display cases, bookshelves and low tables full of goods were spread throughout the large room so that nothing was crowded or cramped. Lavender incense burned slowly, its muscle-relaxing tendencies amplified by the Enya song piping in from hidden speakers.
A couple other people ambled up and down the aisles, some glancing at the jokes and novelties tables (Three Dollar Bills! Fake Dog Poop! Bless me, did humans really buy these things?), others scanning the plethora of books (card tricks, money tricks, rope tricks…who would have guessed that it was profitable to turn these sorts of tricks?) and juggling equipment (me, I preferred balls to be the kind that provided companionship to a penis). Off to the left, a huge counter — doubling as a display case for cheap gimmicks and impulse purchases — wrapped around the entire wall and led to a closed door at the far end of the store. A thickset woman with astonishingly bright red hair tucked in a braid leaned behind the counter, leafing through a paperback.
I beelined to her, Angel spluttering in my wake. “Excuse me, I need some help.”
The redhead looked up from her book and flashed me the “make nice to the customer” smile that salespeople have perfected over the millennia. “Sure. What can I do for you?”
“I’ve got to go to Hell.”
Behind me, I heard Angel sigh.
Red blinked. “Um, excuse me?”
“I have to go to Hell, and I need to know how to get back.”
Her nice smile slipped. “Please, not another holy roller…”
“Her, maybe,” I said, hooking my thumb over my shoulder to point at Angel. “Not me. I’m dead serious.”
“Of course you are.”
I leaned over the counter, giving the redhead my Dirty Harry Special: low growl of a voice, frostbite gaze. “It’s like this. I know there’re real practitioners who come here, otherwise your display window is seriously false advertising. I need to go to Hell, but before I leave, I want to make damn sure I know how to get back to the mortal coil, soul intact. So why don’t you go find the Wiccan behind the curtain, okay? I’m sort of on a tight schedule.”
Her eyes had widened with my every word until I thought they would fall out of her skull. When I finished my little anger rant, she squeaked, “Let me get my manager.”
“Do that.”
Red scurried away. I’ll say this about lackeys: no matter what their origin — infernal, celestial or mortal — they could teach cockroaches how to scurry.
“This isn’t right.”
I whirled around, ready to tear into Angel, but she wasn’t talking about me. Or even to me. She was over by the rack of DVDs, holding up one case. “This mystic claims to teach mortals how to self-levitate, but it’s all trickery.”
“That’s what the bulk of this place peddles,” I told her. “Illusion.”
She looked over at me. “But he claims to be an angel.” She lifted the case to show me.
“Sweetie, that’s just his name. Criss Angel. He’s not saying he’s a for-real angel.”
“He’s not? Oh.” She squinted at the cover. “He’s pretty enough to be one, even with the black hair…”
“Hello, hello,” boomed a voice. I glanced over to the back of the store, where a mountain of a woman beckoned me over. Finally, someone who could help me. I approached, with Angel tailing me. The enormous woman’s black sweater could have doubled as a tent; her long, green skirt had enough material to keep seamstresses in business for the next few centuries. Tendrils of gray-shot black hair framed her thick face; most of that hair was pulled up into an elaborate twist and fastened with silver pins. Her deep-set eyes sparkled like sapphire chips, and her tiny, pink mouth was pulled into an amused smirk. Next to her, the red-haired assistant stood, looking rather smug.
“I hear you’ve got an interesting question, dear girl,” Mountain announced. “I haven’t heard anything interesting in weeks. Come, come. Do tell me your question.”
I noticed the silver pentacle that dangled from a thin chain around her massive neck. Either she was a Wiccan or a poser. One way to find out. “I need to go to Hell. And return, soul intact.”
“Told you,” Red sighed.
Mountain’s smirk stretched into a condescending grin. “Of course you do. And why, pray tell, do you need to accomplish such a feat?”
“Rescue mission.” Behind me, Angel groaned.
“Do tell, do tell.” She rubbed one of her chins as she looked at me. “And who is this wayward soul that you are striving to save?”
I swallowed thickly before I answered. “My best friend.”
“Ah.” She shook her head, her chins wiggling like gelatin. “As altruistic as that is, dear girl, I still can’t assist you. It’s far too dangerous for any living soul to go to the Underworld.”
Angel let out a sound like a whew.
“You don’t understand,” I said, my voice rising. “I have to get her out. I can’t just leave her there to suffer!”
Red fidgeted, but said nothing. Like all good lackeys, she had no spine.
“It seems like this is your friend’s problem, not yours.”
Shit. I’d have to call Caitlin after all.
This is about your pride, Jesse Harris.
Angel had been right about that. Well, I wasn’t going to do the whole cutting-nose-to-spite-face thing. I’d look pretty lousy without a nose. If I had to call Caitlin, so be it. Taking a deep, shuddering breath, I turned to walk away.
“Dear girl.”
I glanced back at Mountain and saw her grin soften into something close to a smile. “You have a good soul. Here’s some advice: don’t risk such a precious commodity for anyone.”
“If I wanted your advice,” I said, my voice a growl that would have made a Doberman take note, “I’d have asked for a palm reading.”
“A reading?” She dimpled at me, then reached over and grabbed my hand. “Certainly, certainly.”
I tried to pull away, but I was firmly caught in her strong grip. She could have snapped my wrist if she flexed her pinkie. “Let go — I don’t want a reading!”
“Wants, wants. Girls these days are always about the wants.”
I looked over at Angel, hoping she’d use her celestial skills to pry me loose, but she was too busy drooling over Criss Angel’s face to notice me. Crap. Sighing, I did my best to cross my one free arm over my chest. When that didn’t work, I shoved my hand in my coat pocket.
“Look, if you’re not going to help me, I have to go.”
“Hush.” She looked up from my hand, her eyes glinting. “You’re a practitioner of the Art?”
As if. “No.”
“Odd.” She looked down at the flesh and lines of my palm. “This clearly indicates you work magic.”
I snorted. Amazing how much derision one could pack into a really good snort. “That would be my sister.”
“Sister, you say?”
“Twin sister.”
Mountain frowned. “That makes no sense. Even twins have their own unique…” Her voice trailed off as her eyes widened. “What did you say your name was?”
“I didn’t. Jesse Harris.”
She dropped my hand as if it had burned her.
I heard Red suck in a breath. I turned to find her staring at me with a stunned expression on her face. Looking like she’d witnessed a miracle, she said, “You’re the one?”
My eyebrow shot up. “Excuse me?”
“You’re the one we’ve —”
“The one we’ve heard about,” Mountain said, her grin nice and big, and as phony as the three-dollar bills she sold.
Mental note: Name dropping is key.
“You know who I am?” I stared at the large witch, then at her assistant, who looked like she was about to throw herself at my feet.
“Of course,” Red breathed. “You’re —”
“The new sister of one of our sisters,” Mountain said, shooting Red a glare that by rights should have fried the younger woman where she stood. Red made a sound like a gleep, then stared at her feet.
What in Hell was going on? “My reputation precedes me.”
“Word gets around in our community.” For a moment, yellow light enveloped her, but before I could get more than a sense of greed, the aura faded. With a throaty chuckle, Mountain said, “This is indeed interesting! Come, come. Follow me. It would be my deepest pleasure to help you.”
Oh, really? Interesting reversal of fortune.
“Please, enter.” She turned to open the door behind her, then bustled inside. I couldn’t make out anything about the room it led to, other than it was dark. Red stood by the door, waiting for me.
“What’s in there?” I asked, motioning toward the open door.
Red smiled proudly. “The real Hocus Pocus, of course.”
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Tags: Contest, Contests, deleted scene, Jackie Kessler
I’m currently reading Spider’s Bite by Jennifer Estep. Everyone needs to go out on Jan26th and buy this one, it’s great!
This deleted scene makes me wanna go back and reread The Road to Hell.
I think The Road to Hell is my favorite in the series. I’ll admit it–I shed a tear!!
Hi Jackie
Thank you for the deleted scene!
Is it okay if I cut & pasted it? I just wish I could add it to the end of the book, like a DVD special edition. (hint publishers).
It was a lot of fun to revisit with one of my favorite characters.
Thanks again for sharing!
All the best,
Rob
PS – Did you know Neil Patrick Harris is going to guest on Glee?
Happy Blogoversary, and thanks for the bonus text. Fun.
I haven’t read this book but I loved the deleted scene
Happy Blogiversary!
Am not suffering from GLEE’s absence – here in Oz, we’re get THE CLEVELAND SHOW every Wednesday. Good times, y’all!
(P.S. I have my eye on those two signed backlist books…
)
Now I have another book to buy, or maybe win.
Thanks for the scene and the giveaway.
I’ve not read any of the books in this series but the deleted scene has me hooked – will definitely be checking them out
)
Happy Anniversary to a great Blog!!!
I love deleted scenes.
And, what? NPH on Glee? I adore NPH. Looks like I’ll be watching more Glee soon.
April is way too far away. But at least I still have House, Castle, and Bones. Oh well, guess it’s an extra hour of reading each week until Glee is back.
I’m currently going through the House of Night series and enjoying myself.
Happy blogoversary! (I love this word)
Reader here
I just got the 12 novel in the Wheel of Time series, The gathering Storm so reading that one and books for uni.
Until Glee there is Chuck, and I love him
Loved the deleted scene Jackie. That is one of the things I have always been interested in, scenes that don’t make it into the finished book.
I am just about to start Forest of Hands and Teeth by Carrie Ryan and I can’t wait, have heard brilliant things about it!
Would love to be entered, am both a reader and a writer!
Nikki xxx
Nice deleted scene there!
Great scene
Happy Birthday to the Dames!
I love the deleted scene. What fun. Happy Anniversary!
Great deleted scene.
I need to go out and get a copy of The Road to Hell. Its on my list anyway.
I am currently reading Demon Bound by Caitlin Kittredge and loving it! While waiting for Glee to come back I have borrowed a friends copy of season 1 volume 1 on dvd!
Nice deleted scene.
Congrats on the One Year Anniversary.
(Wow, it’s been a year already?)
R
Great scene–loved the comparison of lackeys to cockroaches! Happy anniversary, all!
man I need to get to that book. I have both of them in my tbr pile. I am currently reading CL Wilson 4th one in her Fading Land series. Man I love that series.
oops forgot to say I’m a reader
scrtsbpal at yahoo dot com.
Thanks for sharing! I’m noticing an uprising of Succubi (is that plural right?) ’cause I just finished Shadowfae.
Congratulation on your one year celebration!
Miranda
Sweet Vernal Zephyr .blogspot.com
I’m currently reading Barbie and the Beast, enjoyed the excerpt!
happy birthday, dames
I just finished FLESH CIRCUS by Dame Lili and now I’m reading STARDOC by S.L. Viehl.
Happy Blogoversary!!! To many more years of Awesome-ness!!!
Happy fantastic Deadline Dames blog anniversary. Reading the blog has been a fantastic learning curve as wannabe writer AND fan-girl. And thanks for this amazing extract – very cool.
GLEE is only starting to show here in the UK and there is a lot of excitement about it. Curt rules as far as I’m concerned. Oh and Mr. Shu – so so gorgeous.
As for what I’m reading at the moment: the advance copy of Magic Under the Glass from Bloomsbury UK by the lovely Jaclyn Dolamore. Our UK copy is not at all controversial and really quite beautiful!
Happy Anniversary dames!
I’m currently reading Hush, Hush and loving it
Happy Bday! I’m so pleased you all decided to get together a year ago. It’s become a regular stop for advice on the road of learning more about writing.
I’m reading and LOVING Laura Kinsale’s ‘Lessons In French’, and Kelly Meding’s ‘Three Days till Dead’
Hi Jackie,
Happy Anniversary. The dames do a good job! I am currently reading Beneath the Skin by Adrian Phoenix.
Hee hee, love the excerpt! Thanks.
At the moment, I’m reading Sea Glass by Maria V. Snyder, but I can’t read it because I have to study for an exam. In fact, I should be studying now…
Wow, wonderfully intriguing snippet!
I haven’t read Road to Hell yet, but I can see from the deleted scene that I’m missing out. I’ll be adding that to my B&N shopping list for tonight!
Congratulations on the first year!
I’m so going to have to pick up Road to Hell! I absolutely love this deleted scene!
Congrats on the anniversary! Very awesome!
And the deleted scene is pretty cool – nothing like a name to open doors.
READER here, so the first prize is not for me!
I’m currently reading Darkling by Yasmine Galenorn.
Congrats again on the anniversary!
Oh, and the deleted scene was great!
Happy day! Would love to win one of the 3. Probably the 1st one most of all.
Harrassing the workers at new age shops is awesome. And an angel fawning on Cris Angel just makes me giggle.
Happy Blog anniversary!
I’m currently reading Queene of Light by Jennifer Armintrout
Great excerpt. Really need to go read the book now, its been on my wishlist for awhile.
Life Unexpected had a good premiere list night. Its showing promise and might be a good way to spend the time until Glee is back.
Happy Blogaversary! Cute scene. Poor Angel.
Great scene! Wish it could have been included.
Happy Anniversary Dames!
Great Scene! I love deleted scenes, they feel like such ‘extras.’ Congratulations on the one year mark also!
Happy Birthday!
I’ve just finished Soulless by Gail Carriger. It’s awesome if you’re looking for something different.
Jackie, thank you for such great prizes!
Happy 1 Friggin Fantabulous Blogaverary to the Dames! That was a deleted scene, too bad but good for us we got to read it anyway and thanks for that.
Reading Crux by Moira Rogers, digging me some shape shifters!!!
jackie b central texas
jacabur2008(at)gmail(dot)com
Is it possible to just enter for number 2?! Lol, Happy Blogoversery Dames!
I haven’t read The Road to Hell, but now I definitely want to.
Happy Birthday Dames
Oooooh, that was such a cool scene! Thanks for sharing it, I love deleted scenes:)Congrats to all the Dames on the birthday too!
Nice. Special Features in a book… That is awesome. When do we get a blooper reels?
R
Happy Anniversary Dame Jackie! Thank you for sharing this deleted scene! I’ve not yet read your books, but after that, I am most definitely adding them to my list!
Another great snippet from teh Dames. Once again, Happy Anniversary. You are all doing a great job here. Thanks.
I am currently reading “Wicked Game” by Jerry Smith-Ready. WVMP life blood of rock n roll!! love this book, another new author i found.
happy anniversary!!
Love the deleted scene, your books are great!
Whoa Baby, that was great, not enough room for it? It must be hard to edit/delete scenes.
Happy Anniversary
I’m currently reading Elizabeth Hoyt’s newest book, and loving it!
Thanks for the chance to win.
Happy Anniversary Deadline Dames! You’ve filled me with quite a bit of knowledge. Thanks!
Oh, I am so posting on here. This is a great way to increase my book bounty without my husband looking crazy at the amount of money I’ve spent.
Happy Birthday, Dames! I can’t wait for GLEE to come back!
(not a writer)
thank you for the deleted scene that was super awesome.
Congrats on your one year birthday!!! I am definitely eagerly awaiting the return of Glee…I love this show!! Right now, I am reading Firespell by Chloe Neill.
Happy One Year Birthday!
I haven’t read any novels of this yet!
Haven’t even seen Glee too. I’m such a loser!
Congratulations on your milestone!
I’m currently reading “Green” by Ted Dekker & the Harry Potter series. I’m on a fantasy high right now!
Please include me in the book giveaway/contest
Happy blog birthday!
I’m reading Rosemary and Rue by Seanan McGuire.
*throws party confetti* I guess this would be a great time to start reading this series as it definitely seems interesting
I love that you gave descriptions not names to less important characters in that scene.
I’m reading A Mind of Its Own: A Cultural History of the Penis by David M. Friedman.
Happy Anniversary to a great blog! Great scene!
Happy Blogoversary! I hope there’ll be many more.
I obviously have to get Road to Hell and add it to my to read list. Right now, reading Hunger Games on the kindle and Inked in paper.
Happy Anniversary! Great contest!
robin@intensewhisper.com
Happy Anniversary to the dames! Road to Hell is so going on my to read list. At the moment I am reading No.6 in Kim Harrison’s Rachel Morgan Series. ‘Where Demons Dare’.
Love the image – she rubbed one of her chins. Thanks for sharing! I’ve now added more books to my reading list. Which to tackle first?
Congrats! Thanks for the giveaway!
Happy Anniversary to a great Blog!!!
Congrats on the anniversary! And if that was a deleted scene, I can’t wait to read what was left in!
Happy Anniversary! I love this blog, and here’s hoping it continues strong for years to come
Whoa, Jackie. This is killer prize.
R-I’m currently reading Scott Westerfeld’s series starting with Uglies. And I’m literally lost without Glee on, I might actually start going through withdrawal soon.
Great prize, thanks! Congrats on the anniversary!
You guys are giving away some awesome stuff!!!! Happy Anniversary to you Ladies!!! YAYAYAYAYYA! So glad that I have found you! You ladies rock!
Please throw my name in the magic hat!
Happy Damiversary!!!! Loved the deleted scene!!!
Happy anniversary!!! Great excerpt / deleted scene.
Thank you for the deleted scene. Think I must see about finding The Road to Hell
Love the excerpt! I’m entering for number 2 & 3 only
OOh interesting! I am so in!
Love deleted scenes! Now i’m curious about what did make the cut.
Happy anniversary dames!
Loved the deleted scene!
Yay, Jackie! Cool. I loved THE ROAD TO HELL. Thanks for sharing.
I wanna win!
Happy Blogoversary!!! Love the deleted scene
Happy anniversary and thanks for the deleted scene–very cool!
Happy Anniversary and thank you!
Thanks for the deleted scene *g* Happy Blogiversary!!
Dottie
Congrats! would love to enter for #2
Has it only been a year? It’s hard to remember the blogs without the Dames
To pass the time till Glee returns in April, I’ll be singing along to both volume 1 & 2 of the Glee albums…on repeat. *grin*
Count me out for the query letter critique prize draw. I’m not a writer.
Too bad this scene was deleted.
Happy Anniversary
Happy Anniversary, love the deleted scene. I am passing the time until the next Glee by watching instant movies on netflix.
Ooh interesting. Deleted scenes are always fun! If I win, can I pass the query letter prize draw to my daughter who is the writer in the family?
Please count me in for the draw of the second and the third prizes, as i’m not a writer
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