Dame Lili
Announcements! You can find a taste of my short story Best Friends over at FlamesRising! The story is in The Girl’s Guide To Guns & Monsters anthology, available just around the corner in February. Also, you can find a short preview of my essay Ambiguous Anita for the absolutely fabulous Ardeur: 14 Writers on the Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter series, which will be coming out in April. It was a pleasure to be included in both.
I still have other good news that I’m having to sit on. It KILLS me. But them’s the breaks.
And now, the meat of the post…well, don’t take this the wrong way. But I don’t wanna.
Seriously. I started out yesterday with a huge honking attack of the I don’t wannas. It’s only gotten worse today.
Any disciplined activity you put serious time and energy into–dieting, writing, dance practice–goes through periods where it temporarily gets harder to do. The reasons can be manifold: stress, life changes, boredom, the urge to rest for a bit, what-have-you. It goes in cycles, especially when you hit a plateau right before a leap forward.
I write a lot here about discipline and habit. Think of them as bowling bumpers, keeping your ball in the lane. During good times, when you’re excited and happy to be writing, the discipline is easy to maintain. Your motivation’s high. But there will come times when you just don’t want to, for a variety of reasons. It will get harder to keep a consistent schedule and keep writing a priority. Just like it gets harder to stick to calorie restriction or dance practice when your motivation goes down and a stack of Netflix DVDs plus a box of Entenmann’s are calling your name. (OK, I could be projecting here. Just a touch. But you still get the idea.)
I bump up against the hard edges of the habit of spending several years writing damn near every day occasionally, when the I don’t wannas attack. Sometimes I do slow down a bit and take a rest. It’s hard to differentiate between loss of motivation, just plain laziness, and approaching burnout. I’ve evolved a few questions that I ask myself and a process to tell if it’s burnout, but I sincerely doubt my methods will work for anyone other than me. Part of the difficulty of consistent creative activity is that it is so personal, and the methods of motivation and differentiating burnout from laziness differ from person to person.
Yes, I have trouble motivating myself sometimes. The advice I give is partly because I struggle to keep that consistent discipline and practice. Maybe for some people, it’s easier. I don’t know. The important thing is to keep the habit of discipline strong, so that when the I don’t wannas attack, you have nice strong bumpers keeping your ball in the lane and a fighting chance of getting to the pins.
My motivation to write is pretty simple: I have rent to pay and kids to feed. And yet, still, some days I struggle. It might be worse for people who aren’t depending on their writing to bring home the rent. I suspect it is.
No matter how hard I don’t wanna, I’m still in the habit of doing it every day. So I suppose I’ll just poke at a few things and see what happens.
And now, the giveaway! To celebrate the Damiversary, this time I’m offering 2 T-shirts from my CafePress store. (I really need to get some more designs up…) All you have to do is comment on this post by midnight Saturday (the 30th).[1] If you can’t think of anything to say, tell me what you do to get going when your own motivation suffers. I’m always looking for more techniques to steal, ahem, I mean, good advice to follow. I’ll pick the winners from Random.org, and the Dames will announce them next week along with this week’s winners.
Speaking of which, we still haven’t heard from some of last week’s Damiversary winners! Make sure to go and see if you won something, and look for other cool prizes that were announced earlier this week as well.
Vive les Dames!
ETA: Hey, if you’re on LJ, we have a Deadline Dames community now. Just so you know.
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Tags: writing
I work outside the home as an accountant and don’t write at all. My problem is it’s too easy to pick up a book to read when I’m home and ignore all the household things that need to be done.
I have to pace my reading and not pick up another book as soon I finish the current one.
Once I’ve accomplished what I need to get done, I can go back to my books.
There’s a fine line between the “I don’t wannas” and burn-out for me. Usually the one signals the forthcoming, crippling burn-out if I don’t slow down and re-group.
When I struggle with motivation in writing, whether it’s for my academic work (which it largely is for me) or fiction writing, I read. Something that’s in the same general genre I need to write about (medieval history for the academic stuff), but not my exact topic. It’s helpful if the author is a *really excellent writer* of course. Reading beautiful prose and insightful ideas/concepts when I’m struggling with motivation can be inspiring. Sometimes reading will remind me that, yes, I *like* this stuff. Really. Truly. Even though I just don’t wanna right now
If that fails, I have a timer. I set the timer for the length of time I need to study/write, and I do so until it beeps. After the timer beeps, sometimes I feel well enough to continue writing. I’ve become absorbed and engaged. Other times, it’s straight to the netflix pile. But at least I did something.
Good luck with the motivation!
When my motivation is in the dumps, either I crank up some music that fits the theme of the piece or I leave the house. There are too many things around the house that I can do to procrastinate with so if I go to a cafe or something, I’m more prone to focus more on what I’m writing.
I’m suffering from the “I don’t wannas” right at this moment! It’s a combination of being completely knackered, hungry and having a cold however I have languished in self pity for a few days now, so I have just ordered a pizza with the solemn promise that when I have eaten some I will write!!!
Can’t wait to hear your big news, and looking forward to reading the Anita Blake thing xxx
I definitely get what you mean about having a hard time telling the difference between motivation issues, laziness and burnout. One thing that helps me (with writing, I won’t even talk about exercise or food issues) is switching to a short project for a while. Usually it gives me enough of a re-charge to approach my novel fresh.
I wish I could figure out a way for that to translate to other things in life.
Happy Damiversary!!!
I’m probably the worst person to ask about motivational tools. I drink coffee, take a shower, and do. Because I have to. It sucks and sometimes I just can’t do much of anything. MY advice, start small. Who knows, it could work up to something monumental.
For me the “I don’t wannas” usually mean I’m close to burn out and I should really listen and slow down. I don’t always do that and that usually ends in badness. I’m trying to listen better and slow down when that sort of thing voices itself these days.
I actually have problems with the opposite side of the “I don’t wannas” – the fact that it is okay to take a break and NOT work on something. I have a plateful of things demanding my attention (household chores, job hunting, exercise plan, personal research, ad infinitum) and when I actually get a quiet moment my immediate thought is to what else I should be doing, what have I missed? I have to convince that voice in my head that I can take a break, read a book, play a game, without feeling guilty.
Of course, that has the potential to slide into never working and not feeling guilty, so it’s a fine line. As with so much else, it’s all about balance.
Not a writer but still get the “I don’t wannas”. Today it was 4 degrees(yes you read that correctly) when I left for work, makes it all worse. Solution..bed, books, blankets, big donuts. By the time I roll myself out of bed and waddle to the kitchen for round two I am revitalized..or not, then back to bed…We all need time to re-charge.
When my modivation takes a nose dive I simply do something else. Preferably something I don’t want to do, like clean the bathroom. That always seems to help me think (oddly enough), and makes the original task more appealing.
I’m a big fan of baths and walks, to get more inspired, which fall under the relax-approach. And to balance that out, I also like the just-sit-down-and-write-something approach.
I tend to think that feeling blah about writing is a lot like feeling blah about life, to which I often apply the techniques above, or else I go looking for a story (not mine, someone else’s). As in I wander through the book store or movie rental place with the intention that I find what I need, and I usually do.
I’m not a writer so it may be different for me, but I have to set myself little goals (if I finish Xthan I can read for 30 min, or if I do X, then I can read a chapter, etc. Sometimes it even works!
I am retired and not a writer. I am able to put things off til’ later with no repercussions.
I’m not a writer…but I still had a full day of “I Don’t Wanna’s” when my plans abruptly were changed–not by me–at 9:15 a.m. Such is life! I enjoyed your post. Congrats on your good news and on the Damiversary.
Happy Dameiversary and what ever the good news is you will share it with us in your own time am sure of that!!
Dame Lilli I like lots of others also get the I Don’t Wannas, right now am suffering from it because instead of fixing a meal for my husband who has spent a week out of town am on my computer entering the 1 year Blogoversary because it is more fun.
What gives me the motivation to get past the I Don’t Wannas is the I Have To’s. I have to get up and fix a meal there is only myself to do it, I have to play with and pamper my pets because they depend on me for everything, I have to be a proper adult when there is something that needs doing at my house because if it does not get done there is simply no one else to blame but me and get really tired of yelling at myself for being lazy!!!!
jackie b central texas
When I get the don’t wannas I will usually just start it anyway and make myself do it. That usually starts my inner worker going and sometimes I do better then than any other time. We are supposed to get 22 inches of snow here in the Appalachian mountains of E. Tennessee tonight so I’m sure I will have the don’t wannas tomorrow when I start out to drive the hour it takes me to get to work.
Being new at this writing thing I find that I haven’t run into the “don’t wannas” so much as the “I can’ts”. And its for that very reason I love this site so much. When I start thinking I can’t, I pop over here and I’m reminded that there are a lot of writers in various stages of the game. I just happen to be new, and I’m still learning tons of new information. It can all be a little intimidating, but you guys remind me that its not impossible. Thanks!
Overcoming the “I don’t wannas” can be tough and I guess it would be even tougher being a writer where you are mostly alone, thinking, etc. I applaud you at overcoming such obstacles and producing the awesome books that I’ve been delighted to read.
I think my corkboard is my main motivator in a slump. There is all kinds of fun stuff tacked on to it including inspiring quotes and my plotlines. It’s the context of ideas surrounded by inspiration that gets me going. Almost as if my head says, “Well, if they can do it… I can do it!” Cheesy but effective. After all, January can be pure drudgery writing and otherwise.
I understand the “I don’t wannas” as well as the possible burnout.
My usual MO (which sometimes works, sometimes doesn’t) is that I alternate between 2 to 4 things at once (say, proofreading, formatting a second file, and reading an ebook) and before I know it, I have at least one of the things finished and am a good way through the others.
This usually prevents the “I don’t wannas”. If it doesn’t, then I do a 180 and do something totally different and go on.
When my motivation fails, I go shopping. That’s better than being at home looking at all the things I should be doing. Or I just suck it up and get started, and normally crank up the stereo with some good tunes!! “She works hard for the money” is always a fav!
ya know, I dont wannas are something that hapens to everyone. I have only this advice: get over it. (PS I love the Dames!)
Usually when I suffer from the I Dont Wannas, I think about how hard I worked to get to this point, and the fact that I won’t let myself let all that work go to waste. This crap happens with writing, and especially with archery. And barrel racing.
Happy Damiversary
Right now I am suffering from a major case of the ‘i don’t wanna’. I feel like all of the stress has built up, and my brain is just like ‘i quit. everyone go away.’ I try to find some time to myself with no interruptions, just enjoy the quiet, but it doesn’t always work. So, until I find a solution…pass the cookies…
LOL, often when the “I don’t want too’s” strike me… well, usually I have to go to my day job shortly there after. That’s pretty good motivation to at least get out a few paragraphs. Even if it is only a few words those words are one step closer to not having the day job anymore.
Other times I bribe myself with books, or just go ride my horse. Usually once I get some exercise/horse time, I’m back in the mood for writing.
I love coming here when I’m stressed or unmotivated. Reading about the trials of author hood is like sitting around a table at a coffee shop with the Dames. All of you do such a wonderful job. I’m a senior in college right now working on my second manuscript, six short stories, a senior portfolio and countless other papers, exams, etc. I may not pay the bills but I look at this semester and think ‘I just don’t wanna…’ Thanks for your words of wisdom, they really do make a difference!
Hm, unfortunately the “I don’t wannas” tend to win. Sometimes I manage to kick myself in the backside and write a few words. I then try to use that to motivate myself the next time.
Some really great tips in the comments. Thanks.
My “I don’t wanna’s” show up at 0415 each weekday morning when the alarm goes off and I am supposed to be heading down to the mancave to work out. Sometimes I give in to them, but I remind myself that this fat isn’t going to just fall itself off, I gotta do some of the work and get my McAss into the gym clothes and downstairs….
Thanks for the ideas! I have my days where I don’t want to, too. And now that winter is here in full swing, well, it gets worse. I try really hard to keep up with exercising and the house things. Reading and writing are the fun parts. Well, recently more reading – and it seems to win out more. But the house gets clean and work gets done more because it has to be done. I guess that is part of the motivation like you, house payment and kid to feed and care for.
Thank you!
I have horrible I-don’t-wanna spells that usually end up with me giving up. Probably not the best thing but occasionally I find myself REALLY wanting to get something done I just put on some music and go. It helps me to ignore the outside world and focus on things other than my thoughts, which usually go along the lines of “oh, just wasted 10 minutes… already not enough time to get it done… better wait til tomorrow…”.
I suspect that you might benefit from a temporary redirection of your mental venue, without compromising discipline or the sense of doing something purposeful. Perhaps there is a repair or project about the house that needs doing – something a bit outside what you are used to doing. Imagine it and you will find a how to book of how it can be done. If you pick something that can be accomplished in less than 3 days you will be happy and mentally refreshed.
Usually when I get that I don’t want to do something, I get out of the house for a while and go to Starbucks for coffee and then usually I hit the bookstore then the music and movie store. I’ll browse around for a while then I’m usually relaxed enough to think about tackling what I’ve put off.
Ive been dealing with the “I dont wanna’s” for the past 2 years of my life and am finally starting to make a change in my life. I feel 100% better for doing so
I think the majority of mine was lazyness..
I really need to work out something to keep going, even when I don’t want to. I really suck at it.
Cool giveaway.
I get I don’t wannas a lot. Sometimes it’s hard to tell if it’s just plain laziness or like you said, I’m having a burn out. I’m meant to write every day, but sometimes I don’t. Usually it’s because of academic work.
But when I get into one of those states I like to read, and it helps if it’s a really engaging book, since that gets the ‘what if’ gears in my brain turning again.
Listening to music or simply singing usually helps me.
A good walk or some great music usually helps me with the “I don’t wanna’s”. If I can take a break and get some fresh air and let my mind relax for a little bit it seems to help get me remotivated.
When my motivation to write suffers, I tell myself I will never get to being a published writer if I don’t get on my computer and start writing. Since I’ve wanted to be a writer since I was 13, it kind of works for me.
As to when I get writer’s block, I usually panic and try to think of something anything to get myself writing and it usually leads to me thinking of another idea to write about when I should still be working on idea 1!
I have a bad case of “Don’ Wannas” myself. I blame lack of sun.
Oh, the “I don’t wannas” can be strong – and when you have a family to provide for, it can make the struggle to keep afloat that much harder!
So, I try to flip those Don’t Wannas on their back and figure out what it is I DO want. If I have have it already, then it’s even better, but if I don’t, I know that I have to regroup and focus on what I need to reach that goal.
Listening to music definitely helps.
When I get the ‘don’t wannas’ I put on different music and change the order of what I’m doing. If my list of to do has reoccurring items that I normally do in order of 123 I will reorder them in 321 or 132 until I find a new way that works better. The other thing I do is cook, my husband does most of the cooking. If I get a case of the don’t wanna I try different creative out lets until I come back to the one that was causing problems.
I usually tell myself to do the chore now, because if I wait for later than it will take longer to do said chore.
I wanted to check to make sure there were plus size shirts available before I commented.
The most common ‘don’t wanna’ for me is housework. Sweeping, vacuuming, taking dishes out of dishwasher…really do not wanna.
At work not so much, but then I don’t do the same thing all day, every day either. Of course with research sometimes work spill over after the the typical work hours…
Sadly I am suffering of those “I don’t wannas” on my writing and reading lately… And what do I do? I just don’t know what to do, which explains why I feel as if I am going crazy =P I just miss it!!! And when I try doing either of them, I keep getting distracted.
But I try to talk to one of my mentors, they alays know the right thing to say, and they are made of AWESOME! I luve them… I feel a bit better after doing so… But I get I just have to find another way of dealing with blockage =P
I do think of what I wan, which is being published, and it kindda works and gets me to write a bit ^-^ Music helps, but it can also be a distraction. And these dark days we’ve been having @NYC are def. helping me, I just <3 them.
I put things off too much as well, to get myself going to do it, I tell myself reward I’ll reward myself if I do said task.
Sometimes it works and other times not.
Oh…This sounds SO familiar. I struggle with ‘I don’t wannas’ through most of summer and some of winter. Summer because I love to ride my horse as much as possible, knowing I can’t ride for months in winter. Winter because..well, it’s winter. Blah season. But I do it. I don’t ‘have’ to though I would like it if I did. But I have to because it’s what I do. I write. One thing I discovered a couple of years back is that if I look at the big picture I slack more. In other words, I don’t look at a blank page and think “Yikes! I need 60K words!”. That’s the big, overwhelming, scary picture. I prefer to gaze at the short version. “I need 3000 to stay on schedule this week.” or, “I need to write a chapter today”- and once I get going I end up doing way more. True, I still get the lazies (and for me that’s usually what it is, though this week it’s been sickness.)But I take it on the small personal picture and let all those small ones add up to the large one I know I’ll see in the end.
I may make myself a list and when I get through this part of it, I get a reward. I get through the next several items and get more reward-usually it is reading time.
Thank you. I needed to hear this today
I tend to think of my procrastinating as coded in my DNA. I have dark hair, brown eyes, and put things off as long as humanly possible. I’ve developed a lot of little tricks to end around this mutation of mine. Music is a big one. Each piece has a soundtrack, and sometimes it’s as simple as cranking up the right tunes to get things flowing.
Another one that works is switching off to something else for a bit. Write a blog post, or work on an outline of another piece. Anything to get the words coming and to break out of that doldrums feeling.
If all else fails I’ll give myself an hour off. I figure if I’m rebelling against myself and my timetable, taking away the need to balk and allowing myself to just laze a bit usually kicks me in the butt enough to get moving again. Said hour to be spent in the pursuit of nothing useful…preferably something really hedonistic and indulgent.
I am not a writer and am not supporting a family alone. When I get the I don’t wannas I do what MUST be done and let it go. Usually if I push through the musts the rest is easier. Some days I just don’t. For me forcing myself onward is all thst helps. It is way too easy to just sit and read or quilt.
I missed the deadline by a few minutes. I’m not a writer, so I don’t have to motivate myself to write. But I have to get up and leave the house to work and it’s getting harder and harder. The only thing that motivates me nowadays, is the rent that needs to be paid. I’m in a bad, bad mood right now and wish I could go on disablility or retire, but I can’t without losing medical insurance for myself…..See? bad mood. The only thing completely keeping me from going over the edge tonight is I have my granddaughter with me (good for laughs, anytime) and some good books to read right now.
Sorry, I think my comment was a little bit negative, but…..I’m in a negative phycical space right now. But I’m so thankful for people like you who write books that I can escape into once in a while.
I know im late just wanted to comment i get that I dont wannas allot usuallyw hen im doubting my self and thinking s omethingsbetter and i have apain in the rear for a better half that picks me up by my bootstraps and tells me you will and youll like it its great motivation