First off, let me start with an apology. I’ve used this post as a guest blog in the past, so it’s possible some of you will have read it already. But I have a good excuse! I spent all of last week at a conference in New York, and I’ve returned home with a nasty cold. My head feels about three feet thick, and I find myself staring off into space when I intend to do something useful. Figuring any blog I wrote in this state of mind would be severely lacking in coherency, I decided the better part of valor was to use one I wrote back when I had a fully functioning brain. Besides, sex is always a fun topic to talk about! I will resume my “What if” posts on my next blogging day. So, without further ado, let’s talk about sex . . .
Sex is an important element in most romance novels and in many urban fantasy novels. And there’s nothing like sex to stir up controversy and strong reactions.
My Morgan Kingsley novels—particularly The Devil Inside—are on the hot end of the urban fantasy spectrum, and let me tell you, there have been some strong reactions! In fact, the very first piece of mail I received about The Devil Inside was a letter from an irate reader who accused me of writing porn. He told me, with great authority, that I would reach a wider audience if I cut out all the swearing, sex, and “repugnant acts.” I won’t bother to argue his assertion, but I do want to talk about the nature of his reaction. As soon as the sex began to offend him, he shut the book and stopped reading.
I know my correspondent wasn’t the only one to react so negatively to the more . . . exotic relationships between some of my characters. And I can’t say I’m surprised—I knew what I was writing was edgy and would bother some people. But it did make me think about how different people react to sex scenes that don’t float their boat, so to speak. I’ve heard some romance readers say they simply skip the sex scenes if they don’t like them; others skim the scenes to make sure they aren’t missing any vital plot developments; and some throw the book against the wall and stop reading.
Personally, I’m a skimmer. If the sex isn’t advancing the story—either the actual plot, or the development of the interpersonal relationships—I tend to lose interest and often find myself skimming. Originally, I thought I’d say that I couldn’t imagine ceasing to read a book simply because a sex scene offended me. Then I realized I had no trouble coming up with scenarios that would stop me cold.
So, my question to you is, what do you do when you read (or start to read) a sex scene that you find offensive or just distasteful? Have you ever stopped reading a book you were truly enjoying because a sex scene turned you off? Or does the fact that you stopped reading merely mean you weren’t enjoying the book all that much anyway, and the sex scene was just the final straw?
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i cant not finish reading a book just because i dont like a scene but i will skim past them if they are offencive or too graphic
so im a skimmer
To date, I’ve only thrown two books against the wall and neither of them was because of the sex. I tend to skim if I’m not comfortable with it but I would say that the sex isn’t enough to make me stop reading. Now, if the sex was twenty pages long … that may be a different story.
If I’m enjoying the story I won’t stop reading just because of a sex scene I find offensive or distasteful. I just skim through making sure I don’t miss something important and then carry on with the story. It’s like when I’m watching a movie. If I don’t want to watch a sex scene I just fast forward.
I’ll read unless the scene drags.
If it goes on and on then I’ll start skimming for plot points. I don’t think a sex-scene has ever made me throw a book at the wall, although there have been times where I’ve burst out laughing (“What?” *does mental calculation* “That makes it as big as a 2 litre coke bottle1 That can’t be pleasant.”)
Sex scenes don’t offend me (unless there’s violence mixed in, in which case I wouldn’t call it a ‘sex’ scene) — if I’m invested in the characters and their relationship, I’ll usually read the more romantic parts. If not, I’ll skim.
I can’t read sex scenes with children. I was reading an otherwise great book, but it contained a scene where a child was being abused, and I’m considering changing my “never EVER throw a book away” rule for that. The plot could have been advanced without including the actual abuse.
Unusual or distasteful sex is a lot less likely to cause me to put down a book than boring, overlong, overdone sex. Yes, mostly I skim ahead when its gone on too long, but the idea that I’ve had to skim over sex because it was boring does not make me feel warm and wonderful about that author.
Ditto to Robin’s comment about violence – it’s pretty rare that I’ll be bothered by sex alone, though if it’s totally gratuitous than there are probably other problems with the book. I couldn’t get through a few of Laurell K. Hamilton’s books because, on top of unending gratuitous sex scenes, the plot was completely incomprehensible.
I went through a string of books where three or four in a row all ended up with rape as a major plot point (totally unanticipated by me in all cases). While I appreciate that it’s an important subject, and factors into some of my favorite books, it’s so hard to read and if I feel like an author is just using it as a generic plot device, I might walk away from a book because of it.
I’ve yet to come across a book with a sex scene that’s turned me off/made me skim/forced me to toss the book. Maybe I’m just not reading the right (wrong?) books. *mystified*
I’m pretty hard to offend when it comes to reading sex scenes. Of course, being a former phone sex worker has made me more or less immune to being offended by that stuff. I agree with the others, though, that rape, violence, or child abuse are all big turn-offs. I also think incest, whether or not it’s consensual, is upsetting, and will consider putting the book down if that behavior continues. It all comes back to the quality of the story being told. If it’s not a great book up to that point, I’d rather stop reading and find something else. Life is too short to read bad books.
And while it’s not sexual, I also have problems reading scenes where animals are being abused in any way. Dame Devon almost lost me in “Magic to the Bone” when the villian almost killed a kitten. I think most of the time, though, when people put stuff like that in their stories they are doing it for a reason. Look at Charles De Lint. That man is a great writer, but by gods, some of the stuff he comes up with makes you wonder what he’s been through in his life to inspire that kind of horror.
Karissa,
You aren’t the first person who worried about the kitten in Magic to the Bone. That scene, and the dynamics and emotions between the people (and kitten) involved, hits pretty hard. I worried I’d lose readers over it.
I’m glad you stuck it out to the end (if you did.) For what it’s worth, I am an animal lover.
I stopped reading a series because there ceased to be plot amongst the sex but sex has never stopped me from reading a book. (oh except once when I was very young.) If it’s not written in a manner I find appealing I’ll skim it to make sure I’m not missing something. Until recently I kind of refused to put a book down. If I started reading it and got past the first chapter I’d finish the whole book regardless of if I liked it or not. I’m a little more picky now but I still tend to finish things unless I’m just really not enjoying it.
I’m with Karissa that it takes a lot to offend me. If a scene is written well and the behaviour fits in with the character then, well, whatever floats your boat…
It also depends on my mood though, sometimes I find myself skimming one day and reading properly the next but I can’t say I’ve ever thrown a book agains the wall because of sex.
Where’s the fun in that;-)?
Sex is…well…sex. There are only X number of ways Part A can be inserted into whatever Slot B. I tend to skim over the sex scenes, including the ones I write. And I’m always torn about what degree of detail to get into. At my age, there isn’t much that squicks me anymore. Child/animal abuse/sex ranks right up there with walking a fine line in my ‘forget the plot points, skip this part entirely’ space. The only thing guaranteed to bring my reading to a halt is a really boring book regardless of the sex involved.
When I was younger the sex scenes bothered me and I could not understand how my Grandma could read them. Now I enjoy them and I’m a grandma and I think it was a generational thing. People younger than me won’t think twice about reading it.
I get bored with a lot of sex scenes, but I’m a really big fan of funny/embarrassing/otherwise emotional for reasons other than the norm sex. I also love scenes written about bad sex, (clumsy sex or not overly enjoyable sex, not gross sex or rape, or that sort of bad).
I have to laugh, when I hear people get so worked up over sex. Sex in America sells everything and it’s everywhere: papers, radio, TV, movies, billboards. So I don’t see why some people, when they see how much erotica [tastefull mind you since I believe Jenna for instance didn't got bestsellers because she wrote porn] they shriek. UF has to that edge of being sensual and then very sexual. If you don’t like it, don’t read it. Simple. Individuals with brains and intellect would do that. If a sex scene of no matter what nature ~ be it even something gruesome ~ has a purpose, it should be there. That’s me.
I don’t think I’ve ever stopped reading a book because of the content of a sex scene. If it’s well written, most things (aside from Bad Stuff like rape, child abuse etc. of course) can be sexy even if they’re not my thing.
What puts me off is when the scene is obviously supposed to be hot, and it… just isn’t. Usually because the writing hasn’t hit the spot (so to speak) for one reason or another. Bad euphemisms, poor attention to detail, lack of characterisation, bad dialogue.
Dialogue in sex scenes is a biggie for me. When characters start talking like a silly porn film, I start laughing and the impact of the scene is lost. I can think of two UF series where I’ve stopped halfway through book one because the sex scenes made me laugh in all the wrong places.
I haven’t found a sex scene yet that made me put a book down or, as far as I can remember, even skim. I think it’s interesting that someone would be reading a UF/PR book and then be surprised by language or sex in it. That’s pretty genre-standard. But maybe he didn’t know what he was reading…? Huh. I tend to take those things for granted.
I love books far too much to ever throw one. That said, I did have a close call. And it was with a book that didn’t have any sex in it. So it definitely had nothing to do with sex. It was because I felt like the things happening in the plot weren’t “real.” They felt like things that were forced in order to make fans happy. One too many of those and I nearly quit reading 2/3 of the way through. It was only stubbornness that made me keep reading.
I’ve had several books I’ve initially put down for sex scenes. I can think of three where, after trying to skip past the part that bothered me, I found I still didn’t want to read the book. One other one has a two-page sex scene that I thought for sure was a printing error, it simply didn’t fit into the plot line and the characters moved on in the next page like nothing had happened. Skipping those two pages entirely made the book rather good. Reading them just baffeled me.
I’m not a huge fan of sex scenes, but I’ve seen them done well and I won’t put aside a book just because a character gets naked. What turns me off is when the scene is out of the blue, pointless, or feels like it was thrown in without just cause. One of the books I put down started with a character ranting about how she couldn’t stand to be touched at all. Five pages later her car broke down, she was stranded, and she had sex with the first person who stopped. I flipped ahead to see what on Earth had happened, maybe the character was possessed, it could happen. But, no. Throughout the rest of the book she was a hard-core man hater, just barely warming up to the MMC at the end. The car sex had been thrown in to get people to buy the book, and I didn’t like it. I won’t buy anything else from the author.
Sex in a book usually doesn’t bother me but it’s very rare I’ve thought the sex scene was necessary other than a diversion, sad to say. And unless it’s truly necessary I get bored so I skim. If the book had other faults then when I do put it down it usually takes me a long time to finish (and I’m a fast reader). Sometimes I’m just not motivated to pick it up again because my To Read pile is so tall and interesting I don’t want to waste my time. I gave the book a chance. It didn’t fly. I’m done.
Turn offs re sex are definitely child/animal abuse/sex and some forms of violence. That doesn’t need to be described in detail. A good writer knows how to include necessary details for plot without describing everything so I have no tolerance for those. I’m also likely to avoid the author in the future.
Other turn-offs are when there’s just too much damn sex! If I want lots of sex I’ll pick up Erotica or porn but when I’m interested in a story there’s no tension if someone’s doing it every other page/scene/episode. Tension is very important in building to a climax (re both story and sex).
Awkward sex can be funny/a good read but awkwardly described sex scenes (that aren’t meant to be awkward) really take the wind out of a book for me. I just can’t take anything else seriously after that and so therefore am not as invested in the characters as I was.
I thought this was going to be a post about why sex/romance is regarded as necessary for Urban Fantasy and would be very interested to hear perspectives on that subject! (My two cents on this would be that extremes of emotion and circumstance often lead to intensity in other areas and sex is – usually – a positive version of extreme emotion/action, being one of the basic primal drives, so helps to balance out all the ‘I’m-gonna-die’/I’m-going-to-kick-that-guy’s-ass-till-he’s-dead stuff. We still need the uphill climb to make the rollercoaster ride thrilling though!)
Liana Brooks and I have had this discussion frequently
I would rather read any sex scene in the world (no matter how bad or graphic) than a gruesome murder scene. I think it’s atrocious the way our country (USA) is more accepting of violence than it is of sex.
And people wonder why our crime rate is so high!
I have never put a book down because of a sex scene.
I don’t think I’ve ever skimmed over a sex scene because something in it is making me uncomfortable. And for about a year now, I’ve read barely anything apart from UF/PR.
And I agree with what others were saying – if you don’t like something, don’t read it, but I don’t think you need to write accusing letters to authors about it. To be honest, I think the covers alone of Dame Jenna’s Morgan Kingsley books suggests that there’s going to be some sex, and if not, then the blurb should have clued him in.
I LOVE your Morgan Kingsley books, but I have to admit that I came very close to closing it permanently with the first sexual scene. I think I was shocked and uncomfortable. I felt like I was invading the characters’ privacies. Honestly, the only thing that kept me going at that point was that I’d already fallen in love with the world. Legal/illegal demon possession. How awesome is that?!
I should mention the scene I’m referring to above was the phone thing. At that point in the book, I still had no clue what was coming later, lol, but I was totally hooked and there was no way for me to put it down or stop reading the series.
Sandy: Want to know something funny? In the original manuscript, the phone scene was mentioned, but not dramatized. My editor asked me to put it on the page, because showing the relationship when it was working would make it more poignant when things started to go wrong. I think she was right, and I’m happy I made the change. I’m glad you stuck with it and kept reading.