Posts Tagged ‘Character Voice’

On Characters

Friday, June 11th, 2010

Dame Lili

“I don’t know where Danny Valentine came from,” I told my writing partner morosely, staring at my water. “She’s just so…damaged.”

The Selkie raised one eyebrow. “You don’t? A person that driven, locked in that tiny little box and going nuts? You’ve got no idea? Really?”

Well, when she put it like that, I had to concede she had a point. But still. I am not my characters.

I realize protestations of sanity coming from someone who spins lies for a living and talks to imaginary people while crouching over a computer keyboard may be a tad unbelievable. Nonetheless, I insist. I’m wound a little tight and I’m weird, but I don’t confuse myself with my characters.

I don’t know where characters come from, really. Sometimes they just start talking and I shrug and take dictation. Sometimes I see them on the movie screen in my head, and the fun of the game is figuring out who they are, what they want, and what happens to them. Sometimes I get an idea–wouldn’t it be really cool IF… Basically I take character much the way I take the stories they’re a part of–as a gift, spun into whole cloth by the Fates in my subconscious and handed up through a chute that only opens when I’m sitting down and ready to receive.

I had lunch with a young writer today, K.B. She’s one of the bravest young women I know, and is practicing her writing. We got to talking about characters, so I’m going to tell you what I told her, with (possibly) a few additions.

* Don’t confuse yourself with your characters. Sometimes, if you’re a genius, you can pull off an authorial insertion and make it work. You can even make it a classic. But don’t bet on being a genius and producing a classic. You have more chance of winning the lottery or having an airplane part fall out of the sky and onto your head.

Treat characters like you would an extreme sport–with appropriate caution and care for your own safety. Don’t get roped into believing they’re you. This is a tough one, because so much of good writing (at least, the way I practice, whether it turns out good or not is another question) is kind of like method acting. It requires getting inside your character’s skin. This is part of the Mystery of the Mask, but try very hard to remember that the mask is not YOU.

* You’re in charge. Ilona Andrews mentioned this at the Night of Pwnage At Powell’s, and it’s a good point. You’re writing the story, you’re in charge. Moaning that a character isn’t obeying, or is being recalcitrant, is often a way of Avoiding The Damn Work. Or it’s a sign that one isn’t heading in the right direction and needs to let go of some cherished notions about the work. If a character isn’t cooperating, see if you’re resisting the way the story wants to go.

* Hurt them. A lot. A lot of writers are downright afraid to hurt their characters. This is, I think, partly a function of identifying with them and partly a function of just being a Reasonably Well-Adjusted Person, or at least one with protective social coloration. Try to overcome this fear, because:

* No risk, no reward. Without the heart-in-mouth risk, there is no reward when a character surmounts an obstacle. If it comes too easily, a reader could care less. The characters we cheer for are the ones who run the most risk. Conversely, the villains who risk everything get our grudging admiration. Stack the deck. Throw a curveball. Make it an uncertain thing.

One of the nicest compliments my friend Monk ever paid me about my writing was that he didn’t know who was going to survive. “Like the end of the Valentine series,” he said. “Here’s this character who’s now half-demon, she’s now got the power and the Big Powerful Weapon, and if this was a regular fantasy she’d vanquish the evil. But with you writing it, there’s this sense that it might not be enough.” (Here he paused, the spoke wryly and with great affection.) “I hate you for that. I didn’t know if she’d pull through.” Which leads me to the next point.

* There’s always a cost. If your character has a magical power, a magical weapon, or even just an ordinary human talent, there MUST be a cost involved in its use. A magical system is more easily believable if the energy comes from somewhere. If it’s going to save the hero’s ass, there needs to be a cost paid for that saving. Otherwise it’s just a useless gimmick, and one that will weigh down your writing besides. Always, always consider what the cost of every character’s ability/gift is.

* Make the bruises count. If your character gets into a fight and the next morning they don’t feel like groaning when they haul themselves out of bed, I’m not going to believe you. Part of hurting your characters is taking into account the lingering of pain while things heal. If your character has superhuman healing, that’s a gift and (say it with me) there must be a cost. Make me believe it, or I’m not going to care. Bruises, pulled muscles, emotional and mental trauma, take time to heal. This will add a layer of risk and complexity to your story. Cheap? Sure. Effective? Of course, or I wouldn’t advocate it.

* Think about your villains. Don’t make them cardboard. A good hero deserves a good villain–and a good villain needs to have depth, motivation, and reasons for why s/he does what s/he does. The best villains are the ones we can understand and live vicariously a little bit through, the ones who have reasons we can understand. Ask yourself what every character’s cup of water is. Then use that information to make things difficult for them.

* Last but not least, feel compassion for these people. Yes, I know I told you to hurt them. That still applies. But if you don’t suffer for your heroes and your villains, you have no chance to make me believe I should. It’s a fine line to walk, between the need to make it risky and the need to have empathy so you can make a reader care about these people enough to keep reading.

You do not have to like your characters. I think I can count the characters I’ve created that I actually like on one hand and have fingers left over. But I definitely empathize with them. I aim to understand why they do the things they do, and my job–the hat trick, so to speak–is to clearly convey that understanding to the reader. (This is, incidentally, where an editor is sometimes most helpful. That’s another blog post.) The understanding does not have to call forth a specific emotional reaction, like love or hate. It just has to call forth any emotional reaction. If you get any emotion at all from a reader, you can consider your job at least decently done.

For example, I still get hate mail from people who get to the ending of Working For The Devil and feel a shock of loss and grief. “How could you?” one woman wrote me. “How could you do that to Dante?” Which meant I’d done my job. Incidentally, if I hadn’t ended WFTD that way, it would have been only a one-book deal. The rest of the series was predicated on what happened at the end of that book, something I was very clear about all the way through.

* Oh, wait. One more thing. Have fun. I rather like Stephen Brust’s famous line, the one he recommends tacking up over your computer, or wherever you can see it while you work:

And now, I’m going to tell you something REALLY cool.

Enjoy this. If you’re having a ball, the rest of it will be easier, and chances are good the Reader will have a ball too. Not only that, but when you’re snickering with evil glee, it’s a lot easier to hurt your characters in interesting, diabolical, and downright nasty ways.

In fact, you could say that’s the most fun of all. Which, I suppose, makes me a not very nice person, even if I can protest at being sane and reasonably well-adjusted.

Oh well. Nobody’s perfect.

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How Many Cliches Spoil The Brew?

Friday, September 25th, 2009

death's_vacation_layoutHappy Friday, everyone! I started out today feeling ultra-lame because I didn’t even have a ghost of an idea about the regular Friday post. But I’ve got news, so we’ll get to that first. To the left you’ll see the cover for Death’s Excellent Vacation, an anthology coming out in August 2010. There’s a ton of awesome authors in it–LA Banks, Charlaine Harris, Christopher Golden, and Jeaniene Frost, to name a few. My story, The Heart Is Always Right, focuses on a gargoyle who wants to visit Fiji.

I’m also doing #askawriter tonight on Twitter, from 7-7:30PM. When I do schedule #askawriter and other chats, they will be on my Event Calender.

So I mentioned I was having trouble getting a subject for the Friday post, and Devon Monk piped up that a Deadline Dames reader had asked about cliches in fiction–when it’s OK, when it’s too much, so on, so forth.

My, what a meaty subject.

From Wikipedia:

A cliché (US: /klɪˈʃeɪ/ UK: /ˈkliːʃeɪ/, from French), is a saying, expression, idea, or element of an artistic work which has been overused to the point of losing its original meaning or effect, rendering it a stereotype, especially when at some earlier time it was considered meaningful or novel. The term is frequently used in modern culture for an action or idea which is expected or predictable, based on a prior event. It is likely to be used pejoratively. A cliché may sometimes be used in a work of fiction for comedic effect.

I have mixed feelings on the subject of cliches. Expressions that were once popular and have achieved the status of cliche usually have some kernel of truth to them. They can be useful in small doses, especially when you’re fleshing out a character through dialogue. The type of cliche a character picks in certain situations is, ahem, a window to the soul.

Cliches are like exclamation points or Dave’s Insanity Sauce. You don’t want to use more than a little bit to add some spice and heat. It’s very easy to add too much and descend into inedible bathos.

For me, the problem of cliche is similar to the problem of metaphor and simile. On the one hand, the poetic comparison of metaphor and simile gives writing a lot of its savor. On the other, it’s possible to choke the other important parts–description, movement, le mot juste, et cetera.

So. How much cliche is OK?

We get into dangerous waters here (ha) because writing is so incredibly subjective. If I gave any metric–say, seven cliches per book–immediately someone can find a classic (satire or otherwise) or an incredibly popular book that breaks that rule. Some books are nothing but stock characters and cliche (hello, most Westerns and and the technical manuals of Clancy, the Mack Bolan series–need I go on?) and still manage to do quite well because they are fulfilling reader expectations. I don’t think it’s possible to have a cliche-free book, because human beings use cliches on a daily basis.

When I worked retail and customer service, cliches were stock-in-trade. You take refuge in verbal cliches day after day to smooth social interaction and provide the “service” people expect. It’s social lubricant. If you interact with people on a daily basis, cliche will come along every day, because it’s safe and easy communication.

In writing, cliches can be safe and easy sometimes. They can even be useful. You can have cliche dialogue, cliche description, or cliche plot. Let’s take them one at a time.

* Cliche dialogue: This is by far the most effective use of cliche. To have a character choose a particular cliche in a situation is a golden opportunity to show more about that person. Let’s pick a cliche. “A rolling stone gathers no moss.” Simple, huh?

“But who’ll take care of me?” he whined.

Mrs. Edison shrugged, gathering up her pocketbook. “I don’t know, Herb. All I know’s I ain’t gonna no more.”

“But–”

“For years you were that rollin stone, gatherin no moss. If you’d'a gathered some moss here maybe I coulda lived on that and stayed. You can wash you own damn underwear now.” And with that, she headed for the door. She stepped outside into the fragrance of blossoming jasmine, and sighed. Sliding her purse onto her shoulder, Mrs. Edison took the first three steps into the rest of her life.

Now, let’s have another character use this cliche.

“Saving your ass, kid.” He ducked down, and dug in the bag at his feet. His eyes sparkled, cheeks flushed, and he looked like he was having a hell of a time. “Whooo-ee. They really want you dead.”

Holly’s jaw dropped as he came up with three grenades. He tugged the pin out of the first, lobbed it, and had the second in the air a second later. The third went too, and before she even thought of moving he had grabbed her, shoving her toward the floor. The explosions made the ground quiver, and Holly’s scream was lost in the concrete, his weight pressing all the air out of her.

Then he was up again, his hand bruising-tight around her arm. “Time to go. Rolling stone gathers no moss.”

“You’re insane.” Her ears rang. Her legs were noodles. But he picked up his bag and dragged her anyway.

Different characters use the cliche for different reasons, and each time it says something different about the character.

* Cliche description: Strong as a horse. Mean as a rattlesnake. Papa was a rolling stone. A cliche description can be used to add piquancy, but you must be absolutely certain you are using it for spice instead of laziness. It’s like the word “that”–nine times out of ten it’s not necessary, and you should make very sure of the tenth time too. Cliche description is most often a function of cliche storytelling–i.e., stock characters and stock situations.

* Cliche storytelling: The wacky gay best friend. The sidekick. The hero in the white hat. The villain playing dead and rising up for one last grab at the hero. The love scene right after the fight scene, one-third of the way through the movie. These are all examples of stock characters and stock situations. We’ve grown to expect them, and they have been with us since people started telling stories.

These things are useful shorthand, telling a reader what to expect. They are forms and strictures, and any form or stricture is useful to help a piece of art hold its shape. Otherwise it’s just a huge blob, like a body without a skeleton or skin. Without the framework and boundaries, all you’ve got is quivering Jell-O.

But the real fun comes in subverting the forms and strictures. Cliches and stock storytelling are useful training wheels for writers. They teach us expectations, story pacing, and what the reader expects. You absolutely must know and use them for a while before you know enough to break them effectively, to subvert and play with them, stand them on their head and change them up. Within the forms and strictures is a type of absolute freedom that is the paradox of art.

When are cliches too much? When you’re using them unconsciously, or out of laziness. You must be as vigilant about cliche as you are about the passive voice. If you spot a cliche in your work, you really have to stop and think. Ask yourself these questions:

* Does it move the story along?
* Does it show something about this character that I can’t show in another way, or that I don’t want to show in another way? Why?
* Is this how someone would behave in real life, or is this how they would behave in a movie? And which do I want here for the purposes of this book/short story?
* Does this set up an expectation I am going to fulfill or deny? Why?
* Is there another way to do this?
* What would happen if the character did/said Something Else, something diametrically opposed to or just slightly different than what I’ve got here now?

These are all valuable questions that will start the process of deciding whether the cliche is necessary and an artistic decision instead of a lazy piece o’prop. And of course, your beta and editor, not to mention your readers, will have their own ideas of what’s cliche, how much is too much, and whether the character is behaving the way Someone Like That would behave. It’s a balancing act, like so much about this art. The older I get, the more I think everything is a balancing act, stacking things against each other and holding the tightwire middle course.

What, you thought I’d have a hard and fast rule?

Perish the thought.

Note: No cliches were harmed in the making of this post. A number of electrons were horribly inconvenienced and a few grammatical rules were assaulted, but everyone agreed it was for the best.

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Confessions of a Contest Judge Part 5 – Walk Like John Wayne!

Thursday, April 9th, 2009

By Dame Toni

 

Note: This is Part 5 of an article I’m writing for eventual cleanup and submission to several magazines. See previous installments on my personal blog, http://toniandrews.bravejournal.com/.

 

When I first heard the term Character Voice, I immediately thought about dialogue.  It made perfect sense to me that each character would have his/her own unique way of speaking, and that each voice would have a identifiable tone, timbre, and accent. I also understood that there were differences based on gender, age, education and social standing.  I intuitively figured out that internal dialogue needs to be in the character’s voice as well.

 

What was less obvious was that, in order to maintain the integrity of a scene’s Point of View (POV), the narrative needs to be in the POV character’s voice as well.

 

 

Dialogue

 

Natural dialogue is all about where  the speaker is from, when they were born, how they were raised, who they are and to whom they are speaking.

 

Where: I was born in Connecticut, but spent significant time in southern California and Miami, Florida before returning to Connecticut a couple of years ago.  Although none of these three places is associated with a particularly strong accent, there’s still a huge difference in the way people talk.  For example:

 

  1. I was at a party in California and we ran out of wine.  A guest asked where he could find the nearest package store.  No one knew what he was talking about except me, and, after I told him how to find the packy (liquor store), I asked him what part of Connecticut he was from (Norwich, BTW). I also told him to talk to me if he was ever looking for a good grinder shop.
  2. I was giving someone directions recently, and the guy asked me, “Are you from California?”  I had no idea what had given me away.  As it happened, I had referred to “84” as “the 84.” In California, you always say “the 405.”  In Miami, no one uses the route number at all, even on radio traffic reports.  It’s “The Turnpike” or “South Dixie Highway.”

 

If you’re setting a book in a place where you haven’t spent significant time, try to find a native to take a look at it for you.  The internet is wonderful for finding beta readers.

 

Accents are important, too but, when phonetically spelling out accented speech, less is more.  You may want to show that someone has a strong Scottish burr with the first few sentences he utters, or drop the g the first time your southern character goes fishin’, but once your reader has the character’s voice in his or her head,  he or she will continue to hear the accent, even if you don’t spell it out.   This was mentioned by several of the editors and agents with whom I spoke—they said that continuously spelling out dialogue phonetically took them out of the story and, eventually wore them out.  Ever try to read Trainspotting?  I rest my case.

 

When:  When a character was born greatly impacts their speech.  This is one of the reasons I don’t write historical novels—I am waaaay to lazy to get things like proper forms of address right.  I’m currently working on a contemporary novel with characters in their twenties and their forties doing a lot of interacting.  The forty-something voices are easy, but I have been doing a lot of eavesdropping in coffee shops lately.  I remember when “bad” was good, but it took me a while to catch on that “sick” means “extra-fabulous.”  And an entire generation of Americans are incapable of completing a sentence without using the word “like” seven or eight times.

 

How: Socio-economic factors make a huge difference.  I often hear people say that John F. Kennedy had a Boston accent.  But if you go to a blue-collar neighborhood on Boston’s south side, you’re going to hear something very different. 

 

Better educated people are likely to have a larger vocabularies.

 

The most obvious socio-economic factor is gender.  Men just don’t talk the same way women do. They use shorter sentences.  They use less adjectives.   And (refer back to parts 3 and 4 of this article) they just don’t perceive the same kind of detail as women. 

 

I judged a contest entry in which a heterosexual alpha male noticed that a woman was wearing a “peach silk sheath.”  I’ll give an example of why this won’t work. I was presenting a workshop and asked the men in the room what I was wearing.  After a very long pause, one man raised his hand and ventured that I was wearing a blue dress.  Another opined that it was green.  I asked them to identify the fabric and they both looked at me like deer caught in headlights. 

 

I then asked the women the same question and they replied, more or less in unison (and correctly) that I was wearing a rayon teal tunic.

 

I submit that nine out of ten heterosexual men could not identify the color peach or silk fabric, and think a sheath is either something used to hold a hunting knife or a euphemism for condom.

 

A side note on verbal quirks:

 

I recently judged a contest entry that included several characters, all of whom were young women living in the same small town in Georgia.  Whenever there was a scene with two or more of the women, I had a hard time telling who was who, and had to keep going back and saying, “Now, which one is Charlotte?”  They all sounded the same.

 

In real life, it is natural for people of the same gender and economic group, raised in the same part of the country at about the same time, to sound a lot alike. Unfortunately, it can be confusing in fiction.  Verbal quirks are a good way to differentiate.

 

 

To Whom:  I speak differently to a bartender than I do a policeman who pulls me over.  I don’t use profanity in front of small children or elderly people or, for that matter, strangers.  Additionally, my language is going to undergo a tremendous transformation between date #1 and date #101.  The same is true of your characters.

 

 

Internal Dialogue:

 

Internal dialogue is almost exactly like external dialogue, except that the POV character does not have to self-sensor.  Men, especially, are likely to avoid saying something that could make them appear to be vulnerable.  But they can think it, as long as the language is still their own.

 

Narrative

 

What may be less intuitive to a writer than understanding that dialogue, both spoken and internal, needs to be in the POV character’s voice, is that narrative needs to be in the POV character’s voice as well.

 

In Men in Chains (which, I swear, I’m not bringing up again just to pimp myself), there’s a character named Grenda.  She’s the henchwoman of the evil villainess (this is a gender role reversal book, you’ll recall) and can best be described as a thug.  She’s neither well educated nor particularly intelligent, although she can be wily when it serves her.

 

Grenda has a POV scene in which she’s trying to figure out how to manipulate her much-smarter boss into doing something.   If she gets caught, her boss will be angry and Grenda will likely suffer some heinous consequence.

 

I knew there was something wrong with the scene, which should have been interesting and darkly funny.  But it just didn’t feel right, and I couldn’t figure out why.

 

There was a short, simple line in the scene, around which the action hinged:

           

 

“Grenda considered her options.”

 

 

 

What’s wrong with this sentence?

 

I’ll give you a hint:  In the 1978 movie La Cage Aux Folles (remade as The Birdcage with Robin Williams and Nathan Lane) there’s a hysterical scene in which “Zaza Napoli,” a middle-aged drag queen, is attempting to masquerade as a heterosexual man—and failing dismally. She doesn’t know how to stand, walk, or move her hands.  Her words are too flowery and her voice too shrill.  She finally has some success when a friend suggests that she “walk like John Wayne.”  Whenever Zaza can’t remember how to do or say something, she imagines that she is John Wayne and, suddenly, she’s a he.  Her body language and speech correct themselves.

 

Back to my sentence.   The problem is, it was in my voice, not the POV character’s. Grenda doesn’t use words like “consider” and “options,” especially not when suffering from a crushing hangover, as she was in the scene. 

 

So, to figure out how the scene should work, I decided to walk like John Wayne, or, in this case, like Grenda.  I imagined that I was Grenda.  I sat like her.  I moved like her.  I thought like her. Then I  rewrote the scene, temporarily, in first person.  I wrote something like:

           

 

“This crap was giving me a headache. If I could just make her think it was all her idea…”

 

 

 

Now, that sounded like Grenda!  After writing the entire scene in Grenda’s words, I changed it back to third person, replacing the pronouns.  I now had:

 

           

 

“This crap was giving Grenda a headache. There had to be some way to make Bloduewedd think it was all her idea.”

 

 

When I was done, it came to life and I finally had the dark, funny scene I had imagined.

 

Coming Soon:   Showing vs. Telling – Yes, but how does it make you feel?

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