Posts Tagged ‘writing’
What if I’m not as good as I think I am?
Recently, the Dames got a question that spoke to me. That question was this:
Hello Dames, please may I ask a question?
Was there a point early on in your writing career when you had to face up to the fact that you’re not as good as you thought you were?
That sounds awful, but what I mean is…I’m doing a creative writing module for my Open University degree. I just got a short story back which I thought was pretty good, but I only got a B. I’ve been alone with my writing for so long and have convinced myself that I will be published one day. I know I’ll have to learn to accept and use criticism, but I’m still gutted. That B tells me I’m ok/good but not great. I want to be great 
Is this something lots of writers feel, or am I being a speshul snowflake? I really don’t want to be one of those!
Thanks for listening either way xxxx
The answer (to both of the questions above) is: yes.
Yes, there comes a point early in (I would venture to say) every writer’s career when we have to face up to the fact that we’re not as good as we thought we were. Not as good as we want to be.
The truth? That point, for me, at least, is every single day.
First, I must mention that I’ve never taken a creative writing class for a grade or school credit. I believe creative writing should be critiqued, not graded, because writing is such a subjective art.
(Need proof? Pick an author (heck, make it one of your favorite authors) and go read his/her reviews on Goodreads. Or Amazon. Or anywhere else. Even if most of the reviews are positive, there WILL be some negative reviews. And inevitably, the negative reviewers will dislike the book for some of the same reasons some of the positive reviewers loved it.)
Does that mean that your teacher’s opinion has no validity? No. S/he may be right, and even if s/he isn’t, you’re certainly going to have to learn to take some criticism if you want to make it in publishing.
But the truth about writing (this little jewel came from my mentor, years ago) is that you’re never as good as your best reviews make you sound, nor are you as bad as your worst reviews make you sound. And in your case, this grade is like a review. All you can do with that grade (and the critique that hopefully came along with it) is decide how much of it you believe to be valid criticism and fix what you think can be fixed.
Will that insecurity and/or disappointment with your own work ever go away? In my experience…no. Never. I’ve written fifteen novels. I’ve sold seventeen novels. And I’m still disappointed with myself and my writing every single day.
I’m not as good as I thought I was when I started writing. Hell, I’m not as good as I thought I was last month. And I’m certainly not as good as I intend to be. And just in case I ever forget that, there are reviewers all over the world just waiting to remind me, with varying degrees of tact and professionalism.
But here’s the thing that, if I were wiser (but I’m usually not), I would keep in mind: I already know that I’m not as good as I want to be. So there’s really nothing any critic, blogger, or creative writing teacher can tell me about my inadequacies that I don’t already know. I am my own worse critic. I’ve actually pointed out the flaws in my own work to perfect strangers thinking of reading my books, because I didn’t want them to have high expectations, then bed disappointed. Then I realized those potential readers may not be as critical of me as I am.
I also regularly find flaws, awkward phrasing, poor grammar, and unbelievable plots in traditionally published books, yet someone (lots of someones) obviously thought those were good enough to see the inside of a B&N. And often the bestsellers lists.
Subjective. This writing thing is subjective.
Knowing that, I’m confident in saying that there’s also nothing anyone in the world could do to make me stop trying to get better at this. Because here’s the thing: it’s not about how bad they think you are now. It’s about how good you’re gonna be someday, if you’re willing to work for it. It’s about how good you may already be, regardless of what one teacher thinks about your work.
And no matter how good you are, or how good you get, there’s always room for improvement. 
Writing Blocks, Fear & Resistance
Dame Kaz
Let’s talk about Writer’s Block.
It’s not a comfortable subject for writers – published or otherwise – because to not be able to write, for whatever reason, is so full of negative emotions as to feel agonising. Which sounds totally dramatic, but sometimes the worst case of ‘block’ really is that painful to those who suffer. Guilt, shame, self-hatred… all the biggies are there, and I’m sure a whole lot more. *shudders*
(On a very important side note here, no matter what your beliefs/theories are surrounding ‘Writer’s Block,’ there will always be someone who disagrees. Which is fine! Life is all about people having different views and different experiences. It would be pretty boring if it was any other way. However, it is the World’s Most Annoying and Hurtful Thing(tm) to make yourself vulnerable and to tell someone that you feel ‘blocked’ on your latest project, only to have that person breezily tell you, “There’s no such thing as writer’s block! I never get blocked. I don’t have time for it!” This is insensitive, and sometimes even damaging.)
I can only talk about my own experience and my own belief’s around the phenomenon known as ‘Writer’s Block’. If you, personally, believe in the power of something external to you that stops you from being able to write each and every time you face the blank page (or a stalled project), I am not saying any of the following to disrespect or devalue your own experience or definition of the much-used term. But for me, we aren’t talking about something mystical or outside of ourselves. My feelings around this complex subject – and my recent struggles with a form of ‘it’ – have led me to fully embrace the notion that writer’s block should always be written with a small ‘w’ and a small ‘b’. When we give those two little words Capital Letters of Doom, it seems more scary than it really should be. And certainly more significant.
So, in Kaz’s ever humble opinion (no laughing at the back, there!), what is writer’s block?
Basically, it’s something that comes from within you that stops you from writing. The part about it coming from inside you personally is crucial. If we turn it into something alien and external, then it’s far too easy to think: “Oh well, that means it’s out of my hands. There is nothing I can possibly do and will therefore have to simply watch reruns of The Vampire Diaries until my writing returns to me!” Which is not true – the part about not being able to do anything about it, I mean. Also, writing doesn’t ‘go’ anywhere. Not the way I see it, anyway. It’s still there, right inside you – you just have to dig around a bit in order to find it again.
What you can do, even if you can’t write, is try to figure out why you think you can’t write. Because, believe me, even when you truly believe you can’t do the work, you actually can. You can pick up a pen and write words. Any old words will do. They might not be very good words (they probably won’t be, to begin with), but there isn’t a mysterious power freezing you in place and physically stopping you from writing something down (a sentence! Just one little sentence…). Or typing a line. Writing the words: “Chapter One.” If you really were blocked, this should be impossible… right? Especially if you’re capital-B-Blocked.
If only writing was always this pink...
But, still. You feel as though you can’t write. I’ve been there. (Oh, how I’ve been there… very recently.) So first try to figure out why you can’t write:
Are you bored with your project?
Uninspired?
Worried that you’re repeating what’s already been done a million times before?
Did you go wrong somewhere, in an earlier chapter, and now you’ve ground to a halt?
Do you have to feed the kids and help with homework before you can write, and then when you finally get half an hour to yourself… you feel half-dead and hopeless?
Are you just too tired?
Too distracted?
Too lazy?
Too hungry?
All of these things – and many, many more – could be, and probably are, at the root of your stuckness. Steven Pressfield, in his famous book The War of Art spends most of its pages talking about Resistance (note the capital-R). And, you know, he’s not wrong. Most of our blocks and stuck places around our creative work do stem from us simply resisting the work. But it’s in the knowing WHY that I think is important. Because, once we know that, we might be able to fix it – maybe even fix it easily.
Sometimes, we get stuck because we introduced a character too early in our novel; started the story in the wrong place entirely; or maybe because we’re writing in the wrong POV. We might not know our world well enough and need to do more brainstorming and research, or any number of other practical, concrete reasons. These are mostly things we can address and fix, sometimes with the help of others.
But quite often it’s a more emotional and psychological problem holding us back, and that all boils down to one thing:
FEAR
But, guess what? Writing is scary. Making yourself vulnerable on the page, letting others read your words and judge your dreams… putting yourself out there is just damn hard. And then the Fear Monkey sits on your shoulder and whispers in your ear, and that’s pretty much the end of that. At least for one day (and if you only lose a single day’s work to the Fear Monkey, believe me, you can consider yourself lucky).
Beware the Fear Monkey!
As cute as it is, you really don’t need that little monkey around. Most of the time, when I’m writing, I actally feel like that baby monkey, wanting my mum to give me a hug and tell me that everything is going to be okay. (What? Don’t mock my pain… ) But, even though she’s on the end of the phone and is very good with TLC-on-demand (that should be a new TV channel!), when we finally face our writing – our creative work – we’re on our own. Writing is a party of one. Um… unless we’re collaborating. Heh. We have to figure out the fear at the heart of our particular ‘stuck place,’ and then get to work on kicking its ass! And the best way to do that is to put your own ass in the chair and continue to write through the block, no matter how painful and no matter how much crap you end up throwing away later on.
That’s what I did, and I ended up throwing out a lot. A lot of hard work and hard-earned words. But I finally figured out what was at the root of my individual fear – on this occasion – and managed to put the Fear Monkey back in its box. For now.
I hope you can too…
P.S. One of the best books on the subject that I’ve ever read is, sadly, currently out of print: On Writer’s Block: A New Approach to Creativity by Victoria Nelson. I do recommend it if you can find a copy. Nelson spends a lot of time talking about how taking a break from writing is often a natural and normal thing, although of course professional deadlines do change our ability to put her wisdom into practice!
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Images © Dreamstime.com
But I Won’t Do That
[Please forgive the Meatloaf reference. I couldn’t resist. And now I can’t get the song out of my head.]
Unlike several of my characters (Who’s thinking Sabine? You’re all thinking Sabine, aren’t you?), I have boundaries. There are some things I will not do, both in life and in writing. But since this is a writing post, I’m going to stick to my writing wont’s. You’re welcome.
The following is a list of things you won’t find in a Rachel Vincent book. (except that the formatting didn’t work out, and some of these bullet points are supposed to be sub-points. Sorry.)
- I won’t write vampires. I’m not speciest. I have nothing against vampires. I just have nothing new to add to the vampire subgenre, and I don’t want to write a book in which I have nothing new to say. That said, I did write a vampire short story once, for the Mammoth Book of Vampire Romance. I wrote that story for two reasons. First, because I was invited to contribute to an anthology, and I was very, very excited. Second, because I was able to find an angle on vampires that I hadn’t considered before. The vamp alternate universe, in which EVERYONE is a vampire.
- Would I ever consider expanding that story into a novel? No. Because the concept wasn’t well-thought-out enough for a novel. For instance, if EVERYONE’s a vampire, who do they eat? Riddle me that, oh vamp enthusiasts.
- Okay, I suppose they could drink animal blood. But that seems to be defeating the purpose of writing about the great human predator, right?
(Funny story: I missed the part about that anthology being a romance and I may have…kinda sorta…written horror instead. Then had to go back and squeeze in a little romance when my agent pointed out the lack. )
- I won’t write gratuitous sex. Many writers are really good at writing intimate scenes, and that’s awesome, but that just not the kind of thing I enjoy writing. I wrote three complete adult novels without writing any sex, and only added an intimate scene in Stray (the third of those books) before it went out on submission at my then-agent’s behest. As it turns out, she was right, and the scene did fit. It changed something between the characters. And ever since, that’s been my literary litmus test for the “Will they or won’t they?” question.
- Does it change something for the characters or the plot? Does it mean something beyond physical gratification? Yes? Then yes, u can haz sex.
- No? Then no action for you. (None “on screen,” anyway. Feel free to imagine whatever you want. But don’t feel like you have to tell me about it. Seriously. Did I mention the boundaries?)
- Speaking of action, I will try very hard not to write gratuitous violence. Truthfully, I often fail at this. I’m pretty sure my editor has a stamp somewhere in her desk that reads, “Too much, Rachel. Dial it back.” I’m a dial-it-back kind of girl. What can I say? I love horror and action movies. I love horror and action books. And I like girls who can hold their own with the boys, even if they’re physically smaller or weaker. They can make up for that with stealth, speed, and enthusiasm. So I will try to write only the plot-necessary violence. But I make no promises. Which probably means this entire paragraph doesn’t belong in this list. But I’m leaving it anyway. ‘Cause this is my blog post.
- Most importantly, at least IMO, I won’t write easy-outs. No deus ex machina (god from the machine)—characters won’t suddenly be rescued from horrible fates by the miraculous appearance of a new character, a conveniently timed natural disaster, or the revelation of an awesome new power.
- No convenient deaths—characters won’t be saved from choosing a lover when one dies or backs out of the running. My job as a writer is to make their lives harder, then help them grow into the characters they need to be to triumph, not to make things easier so they never have to grow or change.
- In fiction, as in life, choices are hard and they have lasting consequences. Faythe’s dead loved ones won’t be coming back to life. In her world, death is permanent. Kaylee’s dead loved ones could return (because of the rules of her world), but not without steep prices and lasting consequences. Words can’t be unsaid. Actions can’t be un-taken. Forgiving doesn’t always mean forgetting. Sometimes your best isn’t good enough. Sometimes the bad guys win (at least for a little while).
Will there be some happy endings? Yes. Of course. I’m not trying to drive my readers into depression. But those happy endings must be earned by the characters. There are no trophies for second place. No consolation prizes. And in most of the worlds I’ve created, Miss Congeniality would be nothing more than an appetizer for the Big Bad (thank you, Joss Whedon, for the most apt description of a supervillan ever).
In my writing, characters strengthen and mature or they get eaten. Ask Kaci, from Shifters. Ask Kaylee, from Soul Screamers. (Or Sophie, in “Never To Sleep.”) Ask Kori, from Shadow Bound.
So what will you find in a Rachel Vincent book? Flawed characters doing the best they can. Characters making tough choices, then struggling with the consequences. There will be a lot of good vs evil. A lot of recurring themes (which I only usually realize in retrospect)—fighting on behalf of the weak, vigilante justice, strong (and sometimes twisted) family ties. And…humor. At least, I hope. I’m well aware that darkness needs the light for balance. I’m also well aware that humor is usually twice as hard to write as violence and angst (at least for me).
Now you know what I won’t write. What won’t you write (or read)?
2012: Goals & Dreams
Dame Kaz
Hello lovely Dames readers, and a very Happy New Year to you from all of us!
Are you sick of talking about the whole New Year thing, yet? Tired of resolutions and goals? Well… I’m truly sorry about that, but as it is a brand new year, these things have to be discussed. By me, at least. *g* After all, 2012 is upon us and that means it is (for many people) a time to take stock of where we are and where we want to be. Where we’re going. What we have or haven’t achieved. The steps we still have to complete in order to reach those all-important goals.
And dreams, too, are important. Goals and dreams are very different things. They can be connected to each other, but at heart they are separate entities. A goal is something that is within our control, to a greater or lesser extent. A dream, on the other hand, is something much bigger (at least, that’s the way I see it), and isn’t necessarily completely within our own power. For example: “I want to finish writing a novel in 2012.” That’s definitely a specific, time-bound goal. Finish book. Within a year. But: “I want to sign with a top agent,” is a dream that may not work out in your favour. We can write the best manuscript possible, add to that a fabulous query letter, and then query lots of great agents… but we’re not guaranteed the end result of signing a contract with an agent. That part is out of our control. Still, I believe you can set the best possible conditions for your dream to manifest – put all the pieces in place, and who knows where you could end up?
I am a great believer in dreams. (What a surprise, for those that know me. ) For me, they’re what keeps us human beings going. You gotta have dreams! We can set goals that move us closer to our dreams, and then we finally get to a place where we just have to let go and hope that the Universe will take a step toward us and help make that Dream come true. And sometimes? Sometimes we discover, in the process, that the dream we were focused on was the wrong dream. The journey proves to be the important thing, and we end up finding something else entirely – something equally as wonderful, or maybe even better!
But none of this would be possible without setting those smaller goals and dreaming the bigger dreams in the first place. Right?
D=edication
R=esponsibility
E=ducation
A=ttitude
M=otivation
And always remember:
So, tell us some of your goals and dreams for 2012 in comments. We’re listening! Maybe some of the other Dames will join in if I nudge them…
Here’s one each of mine to get us started:
Dream: sell an adult urban fantasy to a NY publisher.
Goal: finish my romantic urban fantasy manuscript and send to Dame Agent.
Now it’s your turn: go!
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Images © Marek Uliasz | Dreamstime.com
Why Do You Do It?
Dame Kaz
Why do you write?
People ask me that all the time, seriously. Sometimes I think they even want to know the answer. “But… why?” they ask me. Why do you sit there, day after day, hour after hour, putting one word after another until you reach the end? Deleting, revising, rewriting, deleting… “You don’t seem very happy about it, half the time, so why?”
Why, why, WHY?
Why do you do it?
Here’s what I reply:
Because I want to know what happens next… Because I love it… I hate it… No, I do love it… Because I don’t think I’m any good at anything else… Because I want to get better at it… For the satisfaction of typing ‘The End’… Because my brain insists on spinning stories and all my fingers can do is hurry to write them down… Because it feels good, even when it’s hard… For the fame and fortune (ha!)… Because I can’t imagine doing anything else… Because it keeps me sane… Because it drives me crazy… For that one shining, perfect sentence (that doesn’t even exist)… Because I love asking “What if..?”… Because I have to… To dream on the page… To discover the answer to questions I didn’t even know I wanted to ask… Because I need to know the truth… Because I’m afraid of the truth… For love… Because I hate, and I don’t know how to express that except in my writing… Because my life would be empty without it… For the sheer, unadulterated joy of creating… Because it’s what I was born to do… To stick two fingers up at all the people who told me I would fail… Because I’m petty… Because I am so expansive that whole worlds reside in my heart… Because I want to share my passion with everybody who will listen (or read)… For the child in me who will never grow up… For the adult I have become who still dreams… Because writing breaks me down and builds me up, all at the same time… Because writing is breathing… For all the people who love books as much as I do… Because stories are our greatest gift…
So I can find out what’s behind the green door.
Why do you do it?
I really want to know. Why do you write? I’ll draw TWO names (randomly) next week and send each winner a signed UK edition of The Iron Witch – or a signed copy of A Visitor’s Guide To Mystic Falls (Your Favorite Authors on The Vampire Diaries), if you’d prefer that.
Giveaway is open to all, no matter where you live etc. etc.
If you don’t write, fear not! You can still enter by telling me why you read…
