by Dame Devon
I love reading. It has always been an escape for me, literally since before I started school. It was my love of reading that made me want to be a writer. I wanted to give other readers that same kind of escape, give them a few hours away from the worries and pain of the real world.
To me, authors were magicians with words. I had (still have) fan-girl crushes on my favorite writers.
But I never once thought about writing them a letter to tell them how much I enjoyed their books. I don’t know why that never crossed my mind. I guess I just assumed a writer would be too noble, too grand to want to read a note from me.
I was wrong.
Times have a-turned and now I find myself wearing the writer hat. I still think writers are magicians with words, but now that I’m behind the curtains, I realize we’re magicians who are constantly practicing new spells. Sometimes we get them right, sometimes they blow up in our face, turn our shoes into frogs, or become bestsellers. We aren’t so much grand and noble, as just people working hard to turn ink into butterflies.
And we do like receiving letters from readers.
95% of my emails from readers are people telling me they enjoyed my books and thanking me for being a writer. I love those emails. I think all writers love those emails. About 2% of my emails are people asking me a question about my books. Why did I choose X, how many more books in the series, why can’t I write faster, etc.. 2% of my emails are people asking for writing advice or help. I love both of those kinds of emails too.
Which leaves me with the other 1%.
That last 1% of my emails are people who didn’t like my books, or my character, or my cover art, or my writing style. That last 1% is angry. That last 1% is demanding. That last 1% is bitterly disappointed in my career choice. And that 1% needs to vent their anger. A lot.
Now, I have no problem with freedom of speech. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, and I’ll stand up and fight for that truth. I don’t have a problem that some people need to send angry emails to other people.
But if you’re thinking about writing as a career, you’ll need to be aware that you will work long hours. You will give up downtime with your family. You will give up visits with friends, hobbies, and sleep. You will receive good reviews and letters and feedback.
You will also receive scorching reviews, angry emails, and criticism. This will not happen when you are rested and calm and in a reasonable mind. This will happen when you are a year into worrying if your book will sell well, very near a nervous break down, are in the middle of trying to finish another book that you hate, have heard other authors’s books are doing far better than yours, and the cat/kid/dog just barfed on your lap.
No matter if that email makes you sad, or furious, or discouraged, you, the writer, may not ever, ever, ever reply with even a whiff of irritation.
Yes, anyone can privately or publicly badmouth you or your work. But the other way? Nope. Not allowed. You can’t correct a reviewer who might not have finished reading your book before reviewing, or perhaps skimmed it, missing (and making up) half of the plot that actually isn’t there. You can’t send a retort to a reader who hands you a list of things they didn’t like and demands or threatens you if you don’t address said things. You can’t discuss whether a political, emotional, or moral theme a reader takes offense to, was or wasn’t actually in the text.
So, what’s a writer to do? Mostly, just accept it for what it is. Anger, disappointment, scorn, those are all certainly understandable reactions to any human experience, and we’re all human. Not everyone is going to like what you write. Some people will be angry about it, and will need to share that anger with you.
It’s a part of being a published writer. You never stop receiving criticism, or being judged and rejected. No matter how successful you are.
But here’s the thing that makes all those angry emails fade away: one thank you letter. Readers who take the time out of their busy lives to tell writers how much they enjoyed a book are made of gold. And those are the readers every author hopes to reach and entertain for years to come.
So, today, at the beginning of the new year, I want to say, thank you, from all the Dames to all the readers out there. Those of you who pass a good book on to a friend–thank you. Those of you who ask your library to stock the books you like–thank you. Those of you who give thoughtful reviews and recommendations–thank you.
And those of you who take the time to send your favorite writers a note of appreciation–you have more than our thanks. You have our gratitude.
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Tags: Devon Monk, readers, writers, writing
Devon,
You are greatly appreciated as a writer by me as a fan of reading your work and also it is greatly appreciated that you and the other Dames take your time to come and allow us fans to be even a small part of your worlds. We all read books of some kind and every book is not for every person, however I do not believe that when someone dislikes a book they should bash the writer who spent their blood sweat and tears to write it. I believe they should respect the effort taken and find something else to read…
May 2010 bring you positive and glowing reviews and keep writing for those of us who have to have the “Magic” in our lives to keep us smiling…..
Jackie B Central Texas
I think its silly to tell someone you thought there work was awful. if you thought reading it was a waste of time… wouldn’t writing a complaint letter that wouldn’t change anything waste more? Guess some people are just bad-karma dealers….
Me–I’m going across the street and spending a little more to get some good karma–and maybe help a little old lady get there too
I haven’t read all the dames yet–but those I have, I greatly enjoy and wish i had more time and funds to know the tales of all your imaginary friends
Devon,
In the past year, I’ve started looking up the authors on my ‘Keeper Shelf’ and sending them a short note of appreciation. I try to pick out something specific I liked in their book(s), whether it is a portion of the plot, witty dialogue, something that made me laugh (or cry), or just a note that I really like their work and hope to read more written by them in the future. I think it is important to express appreciation for all the hard work and effort that authors put into their work. Someone who works in retail gets immediate feedback from customers. But it takes an extra effort to reach out to authors and let them know how their work has touched your life. I have read thousands of books, and am only ashamed it has taken me so long to start thanking and expressing my appreciation for their books that color our lives. So, to all the authors out there who read this, thank you for your hard efforts, for sweating it out over plot, dialogue, characters, for making it ‘real’ to your readers. Your efforts are truly (and gleefully) appreciated. There’s nothing I like better than a new book and a few hours of quiet time in which to enjoy it.
Wonderful post, great reminders. One positive sentence can erase a hurtful review or snippy interwebs comment in a flash. I think I’ll take a moment to pen a note to a fellow author.
Just curious: do you respond to the angry emails? I know most writers respond to reader mail, but is it best to leave the angry ones alone? Or do you have a form response to send the readers who vent so that you don’t, in return, send an angry email yourself?
I’m astounded that people actually write negative feedback to an author.
I’m all for freedom of speech, but really, pick your battles. Getting all ornery because you didn’t like a book and probably abusing the author isn’t going to retract your reading experience, refund the purchase price or even make the author change what they’ve already published. In the last six months, I’ve come across two books I didn’t like enough to not actually finish. I won’t email the author and tell them their hard work is crap – what I like in a novel is a whole lot different to other people’s idea of what should be in a novel – but I will let my money do the talking for me and I’ll be unlikely to buy another book from that author in the future. No horrible emails, negative reviews or whatever. I’m going to pass the books on to other people in the hopes they like the books better than I did.
One thing I haven’t done though, is tell an author how much I enjoy their work. Sure, I spread the love by telling all and sundry how much I enjoy the book(s) and tell my friends to go out and buy it if they know what’s good for them. But I’ve yet to tell the person who has poured their heart, sweat and tears into the novel that their work is ace-tops. It always seemed a bit wanky to me, the adoration too much for someone who has better things to do with their time (like writing the next novel in the series I love so much) than to read a letter from me.
I know better now.
So, to put my new found knowledge into practice, thank you Dames. Thank you.
What a lovely post, Devon, and very true. Thanks to all the dames for their insight and entertainment.
I, too, am kind of baffled why someone would take the time to spend raking someone over the coals when they hated the book and rant on about how much time was wasted. Imo, you’re just wasting more time writing that letter.
That being said, it’s easier for a lot of people to tear someone down than build them up. It takes me less than 5 minutes usually to send an email to an author letting them know how much I enjoyed their book. Why wouldn’t I do that? It’s easy to do, chances are they’ll enjoy the email and more often than not, I get a response.
It can’t be easy to see those emails full of vitriol and scorn. It’s always wonderful to see & hear about authors who handle that particular area of writing with grace & class because I’m sure it’s extremely hard, whether or not you’re a commercial success or what have you.
Wowsers. What are they so angry about? What is wrong with ‘I didn’t like this book, therefore I’ll try other authors’ and simply moving on? Why so personal?
I will always write to a new author I have read and enjoyed. While I know my one letter is not going to change anything I always hope that it helps to offset any recent negative feedback. Writing is a creative process and nothing kills that faster than negativity.
I also try to never ask any questions in my first message, just commentary on what I enjoyed and simple thanks. I know some authors feel obligated to respond to fan letters if they include questions and the last thing I want to do is add to their work load.
I need to work on writing to my favorite authors more though. The other day I realized that I have not written to some of them for years. I am sure the established authors have learned how to deal with negative feedback over the years but I still feel like they deserve positive words even as they grow more successful.
This is nice to hear. Once in a while I’ll contact a writer to tell her (usually it’s a her) how much I enjoyed the book and that I hope to read more from her. But I wonder if I’m invading their privacy, or sound like an idiot-gushing-squee-fan (too old for that). So it’s good to know that messages like these are appreciated (cause I really feel awkward after I’ve sent them-sometimes).
On the other hand, I can’t imagine sending an angry letter to someone over their writings. It would have to be over something personal. When a writer writes, it’s personal to them, but not to us as readers. We get to read and enjoy the book that someone has slaved over. The writer has not written to book to offend or bother anyone.
Just remember that there is a percentage of true crazies out in the world. Some of the over-the-top angry letters/e-mails could very well be from unbalanced people. Or people that just temporarily snapped and lost their manners.
I hope that all writers try to remember to take the truly negative (not constructive critiscm, but true nasty, negative words) with a grain of salt. Let them roll off your back. gather the positives close and push the energy away- because that’s what it all is, bad energy that someone is trying to send. Don’t accept it.
Though it’s unfair, you’re right, it’s hard to respond to people like that. Usually the authors don’t come across sounding good, unless they take care to write their response very objectively.
I’ve read a few reviews that were pretty judgemental, and they didn’t sound like they read the same book I read. I tend to ignore these reviews.
To end in a happy note, I’m one of those people who will occassionally send a thankyou letter to an author. I really appreciate writers who are willing to put themselves out there, write their books and put great things out in the world for us readers to enjoy.
Hi Devon
Thank you very much for sharing such a heartfelt post. I never sent letters to my favorite authors either (pre email years) or emails, until lately. I just bought their books and lovingly read them (some re-re-read until they fell apart & I had to buy another). So from a grateful reader to the writers, like you, Thank You! Thank you for persevering. Thank you for writing. Thank you for submitting your stories. Thank you for the memorable characters.
Here’s to a magical 2010!
Rob
[...] Devon over at the Deadline Dames recently reminded me that authors like to hear from their readers. I’ve always had, in the back of my mind, the thought that an author wouldn’t care if I [...]